


Spark

by orphan_account



Series: Incendiary [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Romance, Awkwardness, Character Death, F/M, Heaven, M/M, Missing Castiel, Seperation, Team Heaven, Torture, beginning of relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-01
Updated: 2013-08-01
Packaged: 2017-12-22 03:40:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/908465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was one of those things that wouldn't just happen. No matter how close they got they'd always be teetering on the edge of friendship and more than that unless something shoved them over and knocked everything else out of the way. That shove comes when Cas seems to die once more. Can Dean cope with having Cas slip through his fingers all over again? Or will it finally be to much?<br/>(Originally Titled "Catalyst")</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! This is a slightly updated version of the original version of Catalyst that was published on FF.net. There's some new scenes, a few details were shifted around and fixed, etc. Hope you enjoy! (And, of course, the title has changed. Mostly due to wanting to have better connected titles between the series of stories this is part of. :) )

Dean flopped back on the couch in the main room of the bat cave, dragging his hands roughly over his eyes and through his hair with a dramatic groan.

“Stop it, Dean.” Sam muttered as he stirred the papers on the table in some vain attempt to make them magically start talking and just answer his questions.

“I will not stop it.” The older Winchester grumbled, shooting a glare at his brother that Sam failed to notice.

“Well then go do it somewhere else. I can’t think with you pouting and groaning all the time.”

“My bes-…Cas is missing, with the angel tablet none the less. Kevin is missing. You’re one step from keeling over. Oh, and now we also have some crazy bitch named Naomi to worry about who I’m pretty sure _tortured_ Cas in some manner. So I’m going to pout and groan as much as I damn well please.” Dean snapped, trying to ignore that he had almost acknowledged Cas with something other than his name.

It wasn’t that Dean didn’t consider Cas his best friend, he really did. They’d become very close over the past years and despite everything that had occurred Dean was still pretty sure he could rely on the angel if he needed to. Maybe not trust him, but count on him at times. It was just that actually calling him his best friend out loud didn’t seem to fit. Dean wasn’t really sure why but the term didn’t work with what he felt for Cas. There was a niggling suspicion of why exactly that was that always tickled at the back of his mind, but when one was constantly hunting deadly monsters and hiding from angels and the new king of hell one generally ignored niggling suspicions unless they had the possibility of either saving or ending one’s life.

“Fine. Just do it quietly. I’m getting a headache.” Sam mumbled, a rare acknowledgment of how the trials were effecting him.

Dean nodded, watching his brother carefully as he continued to mull over their situation. They hadn’t seen Cas since he had vanished after beating the shit out of Dean in some mind controlled rage before breaking out of it and healing Dean. It wasn’t something Dean focused on often, that night, in fact he hadn’t really thought about it all. Things had been far to chaotic, and if he was honest with himself he hadn’t wanted to think about it because there was one of those annoying niggles that there was something specifically important about what had happened between him and Cas that night. Aside from Cas trying to cave his face in, anyways.

After awhile he started to doze, still draped on the couch as Sam shuffled through his papers. He had half formed thoughts that he couldn’t quite distinguish from dreams as he drifted in and out of consciousness. His thoughts revolved around that last nigh he’d seen Cas, around how Sam’s shuffling and huffs of annoyance sounded like a very strange symphony, around Bobby, around a lot of things. But mostly Cas.

And then suddenly the images shifted violently, thrown into sharp focus with the hazy edges of half-dreams vanishing in an instant. Dean tensed, trying to figure out what was going on but unable to pull himself away. Images of something like an abandoned warehouse, a road-sign, dead bodies, all flashed through his mind. And then two very clear, very distinct, very panicked words:

_DEAN! Help!_

“Cas!” Dean shot up into a sitting position, eyes snapping open.

“Wha-” Sam started, looking confused. Before he could even finish that word Dean was hauling him to his feet and dragging him out to the Impala and practically throwing him inside. “Dean, what the hell is going on?” Sam demanded as the Impala sped out of the garage and took the turn onto the road so fast Sam was thrown against the door.

“Cas. Cas is in trouble.” Dean ground out, trying to keep the worry out of his voice. Cas had sort of asked for their help before, but never like this. He had never forced himself into Dean’s head to…to beg for Dean to help him. Dean hadn’t even known he could do that, but he was sure that it was in fact Cas and not some demonic trick.

“How do you know?” Sam was eying Dean warily, bracing himself as they took another turn at a speed that Sam was surprised didn’t flip them.

“I just know, damnit!” Dean shouted, a little panic leaking into his tone.

“Alright, alright.” Sam conceded. He wasn’t so sure this wasn’t a demonic trick, but he also sensed there seemed to be no point to trying to convince Dean to slow down and use some caution so he just sat in silence as he mentally cataloged what was in the trunk as they were obviously headed for a fight. They hadn’t restocked after their last battle, so they were low. Two things of salt, a jug of holy water, maybe twenty rock salt shells and a handful of regular shells, two working shotguns, one working handgun, one angelic blade and the demon knife. It wasn’t near enough for Sam to feel like they were going into this prepared.

“Do you at least know where we’re going?” Sam asked after a fair amount of hours had stretched by.

“Colorado. Near Kremmling.” Dean muttered.

Nodding Sam pulled out his phone, relieved to see that they were only another half hour away from their destination if Dean kept up his current speed.

“Okay, so WHERE in Kremmling? Or near Kremmling?” Sam asked, pressing on when Dean shot him a look that threatened death, “Look, I get that I’m not going to be able to stop you from running in there. I don’t intend to. But we can’t just drive around the area all night hoping Cas stumbles into the road in front of us. What else do you have to go on?”

Taking a shaky breath Dean called up the images from earlier, “It looked like an abandoned warehouse…or maybe a mine. I think it was a mine. A huge, modern one. There were dead bodies everywhere, miners I think.”

“Alright, gimme a minute.” Sam responded, googling area mines and cursing the poor signal he was getting. He was a bit distracted by what Dean had said, how he said it had “looked like” something. What had Dean meant? But he knew there wasn’t time to press the issue. He promised himself he would ask Dean about it once everything was all over and everyone was safe again.

Finally a list of results popped up on the screen and he scrolled through them reading only the simple descriptions below the links and not daring to actually click one in case his signal got lost.

“It looks like there’s a big Molybdenum mine about half an hour outside of Kremmling.” Sam told his brother.

“Find it on the map.” Dean answered, shooting a glance at the glove box.

Sam did as asked, pulling out their huge map book of the country and directing Dean down the correct roads until the mine loomed up in the distance. The first thing they saw was the torn up land, areas where there had once been curving hills covered in trees that had been ravaged and turned into huge settling ponds. As they sped past them the huge white building that marked the entrance to the mine loomed up, pipelines of water to and from the mine crisscrossing the whole area.

Dean sped towards the metal gate, not even slowing despite Sam’s surprised shout. He could put the Impala back together, he’d done it before. Protecting his car was not more important than protecting Cas. And something in him told him they were in the right place, that this was where Cas was and where he needed their help. There was that feeling to the air, that tinge of power that accompanied an angelic throw down. Launching himself out of the car he was yanked back by Sam’s hand on the cuff of his jacket.

“Let me go. Now.” Dean growled.

Sam just shook his head before dragging Dean around to the back of the car and popping the trunk. He shoved Dean’s pistol into his hand and the angel blade into his jacket, keeping his hold on Dean as he grabbed a shot gun and the demon knife for himself and a flashlight for each of them. As soon as Sam released his hand Dean sprinted for the building, hearing Sam right behind him. One swift kick and the door slammed inward, Dean quickly following. Blackness welled up and Dean waited for a moment for his eyes to adjust only to find himself in what appeared to be a bank of offices.

“Here.” Sam said from his left. He was standing in front of a decorative map of the mine, tracing his finger around as he looked for the nearest entrance. “This way,” he said after a moment, turning and leaving the building with Dean following at his shoulder.

They found the entrance to the mine, two steel doors in the side of the mountain, torn wide open. With a quick glance at each other they lifted their flashlights and guns and carefully walked inside. The entire place was eerily silent, no whir of machinery or rush of water in the pipes, just the occasional drip-drip-drip of water from the rocky ceiling. Eventually they reached a fork in the path and had to stop to figure out what to do.

“You don’t suppose the angel blade works like some sort of divining rod for the nearest angel, do you?” Dean asked, looking between the two paths.

“Can’t hurt to try.” Sam answered.

Just as Dean reached for the blade there was a loud crash heard from the left path followed by an inhuman scream. Without thinking Dean took off, Sam trying desperately to keep up so he could protect his brother.

They came across a huge room that looked like it had previously housed well ordered shelves and several rows of tables. A survival bunker in case of a mine collapse, perhaps. But now the entire place was torn to shreds. Jagged bits of metal from the shelves were strewn everywhere, intermixed with what the shelves had once held. The acidic smell of smoke filled the air and a few flames still licked around the edges of unrecognizable scorched objects. And in the middle of it all stood Cas, facing down Naomi. Though “stood” was perhaps a bit to strong. Cas was clutching his left arm tightly and favoring his right leg. Blood coated his face and a huge well of it had stained his shirt and dribbled down his pants. His trench coat was gone, seemingly torn from his body. But he still looked at Naomi with a cold hatred that said he would kill her if he could, and he was going to try even if it killed him.

“Hey!” Dean shouted, trying to draw Naomi’s attention away as she dove for Castiel again. It worked just enough to make her hesitate at the last moment, giving Cas the chance to leap out of the way.

“This isn’t your battle, Winchesters.” Naomi hissed, still watching Cas out of the corner of her eye as he stumbled back, eyes clenching in pain.

“Screw you.” Dean said in a scarily calm tone.

Dean knew it wouldn’t do much good, but he shot her anyways. Mostly it was meant as an attempt to get her anger to redirect towards him and away from Cas who had fallen to his knees. It worked a little to well. Naomi screeched, clutching her shoulder and healing the wound before throwing her hand to the side, violently ripping the gun from Dean’s hands before rushing forward. Sam intercepted her, grabbing her arm and twisting as he slammed the heel of his other hand into her chin. The blow would’ve been enough to knock out a normal human-being but it only winded the angel.

“Get to Cas.” Sam shouted at Dean, using the grip he still had on Naomi’s arm to spin her out the door of the room.

Dean spared one glance to Sam as he drove his elbow into the side of Naomi’s neck before sprinting to Cas just in time to grab him before he collapsed completely.

“You came.” Cas moaned, eyes rolling back slightly.

“Of course I fucking came. Look at me.” Dean ordered, hand cradling the back of Cas’s neck as he tried to get a good look at his head wound. Dean had no idea what exactly to do with severely injured angel so he just went with his instinct to treat the injuries as if he were dealing with a human. The gash on Cas’s head was bad, a glimmer of bone showing in the deepest part of the cut that went from next to his left eye and curved up into his hairline just above his right eyebrow.

“You can’t let her get it, Dean. You can’t.” Cas mumbled, his words slurring slightly and concerning Dean even more. Angel’s shouldn’t slur their words, no matter how injured they were, as far as Dean was concerned.

“Get what?” Dean asked, more to keep Cas talking than out of any actual curiosity.

“The tablet. The angel tablet.”

They were interrupted by a shout from Sam as he was thrown violently backwards into the wall, knocked unconscious by the blow to his head as it smacked against the hard rock. Dean shouted his name and moved to help but before he could halfway stand he felt his muscles lock and he to was thrown just as violently into another wall. Consciousness didn’t vanish immediately, but he couldn’t move. Cas had managed to struggle to his feet, teeth bared in a way that Dean wasn’t sure if it meant Cas was in pain or growling in anger.

“Don’t you _dare_ touch them, Naomi.” Cas hissed, managing to stand completely and look fairly intimidating.

“You’re disgusting, lusting after them the way you do. Especially _Dean_ ,” she spat his name like an insult, “It’s a disgrace to everything you are, Castiel. To everything father wanted us to be.”

“I’d rather be a disgrace for caring than a disgrace for torturing people the way you tortured me.” Cas said in a soft, but deadly tone.

Naomi stilled in her predatory advance, eying Castiel carefully. Obviously she hadn’t expected him to stand up to her in such a manner.

“Fine then.” She said after a moment, earning a wary glance from the injured angel.

Before he had a chance to react Naomi had surged forward, angel blade in hand. Dean tried to shout, tried to struggle to his feet, but he still couldn’t move right. He watched in horror as Cas tried to fall back, but in his injured state he couldn’t move fast enough nor did he have the power to vanish. The blade came forward, slipping up under Castiel’s ribs and into his heart. There was a split second where everything was still, Cas’s mouth was hanging open as he stared at a smug Naomi and Dean was still trying hoarsely to scream. And then Cas’s head tipped back in a silent scream and he exploded into light, giving Dean barely enough time to slam an arm over his eyes. The blast of power was so strong it slammed Dean into the wall once more, causing unconsciousness to finally claim him.


	2. Chapter 2

_Four Weeks Later_

 

Sam pulled the Impala into a parking space outside a small diner in Bailey Colorado. There had been seven suspicious deaths in the Lost Creek Wilderness over the past two years, all in the same area. It wasn’t normally enough to warrant their attention but Sam had been desperate to get Dean to do something other than blaming himself for what had happened with Cas, though what had happened was something that Dean hadn’t been willing to even mention since it had happened. Sam couldn’t stop thinking about it though, and that was a pretty good indicator that Dean sure has hell couldn’t.

After Sam had started to regain his senses from being knocked out the first time a wave of power had washed over him and sent him back into the wall and into darkness. When he awoke again the mine was silent save for the crackle of tiny flames and the sound of moaning. Struggling to his feet Sam had found Dean semi-conscious on the other side of the room, struggling to get to his feet despite the state he was in. When Dean had regained the ability to stand mostly without help they had both searched the mine as best they could to no avail. There was no sign of Castiel or Naomi. Eventually they had to concede that they weren’t going to find anything and had left before the cops could show up. This wasn’t something that could be explained with fake FBI badges.

They’d driven into Kremmling after that, getting a room at the hotel towards the end of town as it was the first place they’d found. Dean had refused any medical attention and had just folded himself into a chair, his guilt plain on his face. Cas had called him for help, _screamed_ for help as Dean had told Sam later, and Dean hadn’t been able to protect him. He had never felt so terrible. And now…now Cas was dead. Again. And as far as Dean was concerned it was entirely his fault and Sam couldn’t convince him otherwise no matter how hard he tried.

They had stayed in Kremmling ever since, holing up in their room and ignoring the locals as they tried to plan their next move. Sam was much more productive at this than Dean, who could barely go an hour without angrily throwing something at the wall. So far the casualties included sixteen mugs, two coffee pots, and ten plates. Eventually Sam had decided they needed to leave, to just get out of there and do something other than sit and feel guilty. He had used the pretense of the case in Bailey to do it. Dean hadn’t been happy, not seeing the point of investigating something he felt wasn’t even a real case, but he gave up his protests about ten minutes into the drive.

And here they were, walking into the small diner to talk to the locals. Sam almost smiled, thinking about how they had been here years ago to hunt the wendigo. That was the first case he and Dean had worked together after Dean had come to get his help in finding John. Well, the first after he had decided to become a hunter again after what happened to Jess. It sort of felt like they’d come full circle. Except now the world was so much harsher, so much more confusing, than it had been all those years ago. They may have completed a circle, but they had by no means reached the end of their struggles by coming here.

“Coffee, boys?” A friendly waitress asked, a steaming pot already in her hands as Dean and Sam sat down at the bar. She was tall and lanky, though not skinny, and her hair was a riot of purple fading into pink with light blond roots. She seemed almost familiar and Sam wondered if perhaps they had met last time he and Dean had come through town. He hoped not, he didn’t have more than a vague remembrance of her and some people got so grouchy if you didn’t remember them and they remembered you.

“Please.” Sam nodded and she poured him a cup before turning expectantly to Dean who was trailing a miserable finger around the rim of his empty mug.

“Well, you look like you need this more than your brother so I’ll give you two options here. Either move the finger so I don’t burn you, or I burn you. Choose quickly.” The waitress informed Dean who looked slightly startled.

“Um…thanks?” He pulled his finger away. “Nothing like a very forward waitress, I suppose.”

“I have some experience handling hunters.” She shrugged, walking away before either Sam or Dean could respond with more than slightly shocked looks.

“Maybe she means actual hunters, like deer hunters,” Sam offered. “We are in Colorado.”

“Maybe.” Dean answered, sipping on his coffee as he watched the woman take orders from a booth at the opposite end of the restaurant. He to felt there was something familiar about her, but like Sam he couldn’t place it.

“—the seventh victim was killed yesterday, in the same place.” Sam said, unaware that Dean had only caught the tail end of his run through of the case.

“What?” Dean turned to face Sam again, though his thoughts still hovered around the waitress.

“Seven bodies. In the Lost Creek Wilderness, about eight miles off of the Goose Creek trail head. All of them were women backpacking with their boyfriends or husbands, and all of them died after falling from the same ledge. The seventh one was killed yesterday.” Sam told him, to pleased to see Dean focusing on something other than guilt to be mad that Dean hadn’t heard him, even if he was pretty sure Dean still thought the case wasn’t really a case.

“What do the guys say about what happened?”

“I’ve only got a couple of their statements from the papers, but they both pretty much say that they were just standing near the ledge, holding hands with their significant other and looking out at the view when something shoved the woman forward and she toppled over the edge and to her death. Of course the authorities are saying that the women just fell, but even they are having a hard time getting the public to believe it now that there are seven bodies.”

“It’s the ghost of Marcus Daley.” The waitress spoke up, having reappeared so quietly both of the brothers jumped.

She quirked an eyebrow at them in amusement, “Like I said, I know hunters when I see them. And this town sure needs some right now. Well, this area. Most of the people that died were tourists so it’s not as if the town is suffering a population crisis now.”

“Well aren’t you just a ray of sunshine.” Dean grinned, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“No point in dancing around the truth.” She shrugged, topping off their coffees.

“So, who’s Marcus Daley? And why do you think this is his ghost?” Sam asked, saving the questions about her knowledge of the supernatural for later.

Just as the waitress opened her mouth to answer the cook shouted “order up” and clacked a plate of pancakes onto the serving window.

“I get off in half an hour,” She supplied before striding over to take the order to the other end of the bar.

 

Half an hour later all three of them were standing outside the diner and near the Impala. The waitress, who had introduced herself as Alice, had made what she dubbed a “valiant escape” from overtime due to the sudden influx of customers. She was now eying the building warily, as if she expected it to rear up and bite her.

“How about we go somewhere else to chat, boys. I think I see the cook coming for me.” Alice requested, hiding behind a slightly confused looking Sam. “What? You’re taller and wider than me. You make a good hiding place currently.”

Dean snickered, “We just got into town, so if you know a better place to talk lead the way.”

“Right then. I would suggest my place, but given that that is the camper in the bed of my truck and you are both rather large men I don’t see that working well, so to the park we go. Hopefully you won’t terrify the children. They might think you’re bigfoot.” Alice quipped at Sam over her shoulder as she walked away, seemingly expecting them to just follow.

“I like this girl.” Dean grinned. It still didn’t reach his eyes, not that it ever really did anymore when Sam thought about it.

Sam just groaned, knowing he was in for a world of jokes at his expense if this girl hung around and even more if Dean and her got on.

“Alright, so Marcus Daley.” Alice started without prompting as she flopped into a patch of grass leaving Dean and Sam to awkwardly sit down near her. “In…I think the late eighteen-hundreds there was a company who wanted to turn one of the canyons in the Lost Creek Wilderness into a reservoir. There’s bunk houses up there, old bits of machinery, that sort of thing. They tried pretty hard for a few years, but it never went anywhere and eventually the project was abandoned. But anyways, while it was going on a worker there married one of the women from town and took her out there after the wedding to show her the view. He took her to the ledge where everyone has been dying. They were kissing, with her back to the ledge, when suddenly the rock cracked and a huge slab tilted away from the mountain, throwing the woman to her death. Marcus’s grief was so profound it crushed his footprints into the rock before he threw himself to his death as well. You can still see one of the footprints there today, and the slab of rock is still clinging to the mountain. It’s a huge ledge overall though, lots of room to move about and an amazing view so lots of people go there despite how hard it is to reach.”

“Poor guy.” Sam said when she was finished. “You wouldn’t happen to know where he’s buried, would you?”

“No, sorry. Up until this all started happening I just thought it was just a legend.”

“Great. We get to go to the library.” Dean groaned, getting to his feet. “Thanks for your help, Alice. I’m sure we’ll see you around at the diner or something.”

“Nope.” Alice rolled over and pushed herself up, brushing some stray bits of grass from her pants.

“Nope? What, are you planning to quit the diner?” Dean asked.

“No, I’m planning to take you out to the ledge. Oh, stop giving me that ‘it’s to dangerous look’. You won’t be able to find your way to it without help, trust me. Even maps can’t explain how to get there right. I’ll meet you at Goose Creek trail-head tomorrow at eight thirty. Bring snacks, it’s a long walk.”

And with that Alice walked off, not even sparing them a backwards glance.

“She’s very…forward.” Sam said, taking a long time to choose the last word.

“Very.” Dean agreed, watching her ass as she walked down the road which earned him a playful shove from Sam.

“I’m pretty sure she’d kick your ass, Dean. She seems like she’s the kind of girl who would know how, and from the look of it you’d be far to busy watching hers to protect your own.” Sam was pretty sure Dean wasn’t actually interested, just falling back on old habits and going through the motions as a way to distract himself and act like things were normal. Like he wasn’t in pain. But he went along with it anyways.

“Shutup, bitch.”

“Jerk.”

oOoOoOo

 

“You are such a nerd, dude.” Dean asked as he returned with coffee to see that Sam had nearly obscured himself behind piles of newspapers and printouts and boxes.

“It’s not my fault they don’t have a computer archive.” Sam grumbled, swiping his coffee from Dean.

“Easy, princess. Just joking.” Dean settled into his chair, sipping on his coffee.

“Take this half,” was Sam’s only answer as he flicked his hand to indicate half of the table.

They sat in silence for nearly an hour, each flipping through papers and coming up empty before Sam spoke again.

“Dean…” He started, watching as his brother absently rubbed at the hand-print-scar Castiel had left for probably the tenth time in that hour. It was actually a behavior Dean had had for awhile, and Sam was pretty sure he wasn’t even conscious of doing it, but it had picked up over the past month since Castiel had died.

“What?” Dean asked when Sam didn’t continue on his own.

“Your arm okay?” Sam settled on saying after a minute, still wary of brining up Cas and sending Dean on another two day bender that left him even surlier than he generally was.

The older Winchester scrunched his face slightly in confusion and looked down at where his hand was indeed resting against the scar Castiel had left. He just stared at it for a moment, seemingly surprised to see his hand there, before he lowered it back to the table.

“Yeah. My arm is fine.”

“Dean, if you want to tal-” He was cut off.

“I’m not getting all lovey dovey with you Sam. Cas is gone. He’s dead. That’s all there is to it.” Dean choked on a couple of the words, but pressed on like it hadn’t happened.

“He was your friend though, Dean. You guys were really close and I know you’re upset even if you aren’t showin—”

“Enough, Sam.” Dean growled, standing up and walking away.

Sam just watched him go, running a frustrated hand through his hair. He didn’t know what to do here, not when he had so many of his own problems to deal with. He was still being effected by the trials, though the worst of it seemed to come and go. He’d been trying his hardest to hide the effects from his brother, not wanting to worry him after Cas, but it was getting harder and harder every day and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep it up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story of Marcus Daley is based on a story I was told several years ago while backpacking in the Lost Creek Wilderness with the Girlscouts. There is actually a split ledge and a footprint in the rock just in front of it there. The whole area is totally beautiful and one of my favorite places in the world. Check out some of my own pictures here: http://katara-alchemist.tumblr.com/post/48587192601/so-those-of-you-in-the-supernatural-fandom-will along with a short history of the area. 
> 
> Also, have a sketch of Alice: http://katara-alchemist.tumblr.com/post/48467402951/new-supernatural-oc


	3. Chapter 3

“Morning guys. I’m guessing from your dejected looks the library trip was unfruitful?” Alice asked. She was sitting on the hood of her truck, munching on a granola bar. Dean’s sleepless eyes swept over her cutoff jeans that would surely show her ass should she bend over just slightly and up over her ACDC tour shirt from the seventies which was much to large for her but draped around her figure nicely.

He supposed she was good looking, with her carefully calculating blue eyes and long legs, but he didn’t normally go for the punk girls with unicorn-puke hair. On the other hand, he did appreciate her no-nonsense-lets-get-this-shit-done attitude. She didn’t waste time with niceties, just jumped in and started going at it without bothering to ask permission for every step. A potentially annoying quality as well as a reassuring one.

“Normally, I would inform men on the position of my eyes in instances like this. However, you’re hot enough that I’m fine with you looking anywhere you please.” Alice winked as she jumped down from the hood of the truck and shrugged on her backpacking pack. She obviously thought this might carry out longer than Sam and Dean did as she had a sleeping bag and a full pack and Dean belatedly wondered if maybe they should’ve done the same, given that all they had was a bag of weapons and various hunting supplies along with some snacks and a few non-holy water water-bottles.

“No, the library trip wasn’t successful.” Sam supplied before Dean could jump in and turn this into a flirting contest that would inevitably delay them. “Marcus was a real man, and he and his wife did die like you said, but there’s no record of what actually happened to their bodies. That, and we still have no way to be sure that either of them are involved in any manner.”

“Hopefully we’ll be able to find something then.” Alice replied, heading down the trail with Sam and Dean following behind as if she once more just expected them to be there.

 

They made okay time on the seven mile trip, but had been delayed by an injured hiker who Alice insisted they stop to help despite his only problem being a twisted ankle. She had offered the man a satellite phone from one of the pockets in her bag and they had waited with him until help arrived and then continued on.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I think waiting for the morning would be best. We can make camp here and hike the last mile to the canyon in the morning.” Alice suggested as they stopped to rest a bit by what Alice told them were old bunk houses from the reservoir project. Dean eyed them closely, wondering if they would be safe enough to sleep in as he didn’t have a sleeping bag and the ramshackle, falling down, houses seemed to have a bit more potential then being totally outside.

“You’re the guide.” Sam conceded after a moment, clearly just wanting to press on but knowing that going after a vengeful ghost in the dark in the middle of nowhere wouldn’t be a wise idea.

“Alright then, come on.” Alice turned, walking away from the path they’d been on and past the houses.

“I thought you said we were making camp?” Sam wondered aloud, following her anyways.

“We are.” Alice answered, turning to look back at them--a rather cumbersome movement given the size of her pack-- “There’s a better campsite just down the hill.”

Sam nodded and fell back a bit to be next to Dean, “I’m not sure I trust her,” he whispered softly.

“And yet you agreed to follow her out into the middle of butt-fuck nowhere. Nice move, Sammy.”

“Hey, you didn’t seem to have any objections.” Sam hissed to which Dean just shrugged. “Come on, don’t tell me you don’t sense that there’s something…off about her?”

“Who in our lives doesn’t have something ‘off’ about them?” Dean asked, staring pointedly at Sam. Sam had Demon blood and was trying to close the gates of hell. Charlie, well they still didn’t even know her real name did they? And Garth was…Garth. Kevin was a prophet. Castiel was--had been an angel who had fallen, been blown up repeatedly, swallowed leviathans, made it out of purgatory, and more. So unless Alice sprouted a leviathan mouth or extra limbs all of a sudden Dean wasn’t particularly concerned.

“Alright, stop talking and pay attention for a moment. Getting to the campsite is a tad…tricky.” Alice said, pulling the brothers out of their conversation. They were standing at the top of a large slab of rock that slopped gently downwards about thirty feet with walls of earth stretching up from each side. “Okay, see that itty-bitty little path of gravel over there on the left? That is option one. It is very slow going and the gravel is slippery. Option two is basically crab walking down the equally slippery rock.”

“I thought you said this was a _better_ campsite.” Dean asked, looking between the two options.

“I did. I never said it was easy to get to.” And with that Alice bent down and clambered down the rock in a manner that, with her pack, made her look like an awkwardly put together turtle.

The brothers looked at her and then at each other before both saying “You first.”

 

oOoOoOo

 

“Okay, _maybe_ this was worth scrambling down that rock.” Dean acquiesced as Alice dropped her pack next to a fire ring.

The campsite they had come to was right next to where the river came out of the mountain through a tumble of boulders. The side they were on was a nice, flat, area with large trees interspersed just enough to leave ample room for tents, and surrounded by boulders. Across the river was a near sheer cliff face from which house sized boulders had tumbled down into the river to create huge pools. The river itself came through a tumble of equally huge boulders as it exited the mountain it went through.

“Told you.” Alice smiled, leaning over backwards to pop her back. “There’s even a hidden beech under the mountain. And a deadly whirlpool…don’t go in there without a light. You guys hungry? Because I’m starving. I’ll cook if one of you pitches the tent.”

“You brought a tent?” Sam asked, the look he was giving Alice’s backpack clearly stating that he didn’t think a tent could fit in there.

“I brought a couple tarps and some rope.” Alice answered, already pulling out a tiny little cook stove and a small bottle of propane.

Half an hour later and they were all sitting down to what a colorful package had claimed to be a steak dinner around a tiny fire Alice had lit. One of the tarps had been strung, a bit crookedly, between two trees and the other laid on the ground underneath it by Dean.

Dean poked unhappily at his meal, clearly displeased with the treatment this “meat” had received and almost contemplating just going to find a rabbit or something. Alice, and Sam for that matter, had admonished him for this thought when he’d voiced it out loud. Alice because apparently she liked rabbits, and Sam because “why kill an innocent animal for food when you’ve got plenty right in front of you?” Dean felt that calling this “food” was a bit heavy handed.

“You’re very fussy about your meat.” Alice observed.

“Honey, if you saw the stuff that oozed out of the last piece of weird meat I accidentally ate you’d be wary to.” Dean answered, giving up and grabbing the candy out of his bag to eat instead.

“They’re no different than those MRE’s Bobby used to give us.” Sam reasoned, though after Dean’s mention of the Leviathan tainted meat he looked a little wary as well.

“Yeah, well I’m pretty sure Bobby would’ve stopped eating MRE’s if he’d lived.” Dean answered, popping a few pieces of candy into his mouth.

Sam eyed his food warily for another minute before deciding he agreed with Dean and giving up on dinner as well.

 

 

oOoOoOo

 

“I don’t see any canyon.” Dean said dubiously, staring up at the huge tumble of house sized boulders in front of them. As far as he could tell there was no canyon anywhere in sight.

They had woken up that morning to find Alice cooking a breakfast of more MRE like meals that made both of the Winchester’s hearts clench with more memories of Bobby. As soon as they had eaten the three of them had made it back up to the main path and followed Alice along the trail to the place they were standing now.

“That’s the best part.” Alice smiled. “Now then, since we don’t plan on going any farther after we see the canyon, I advise we leave our packs here because trust me, it’s even harder to get there with them.”

“You’re the guide.” Sam conceded once again, though he was wary to leave his pack behind. Last time they had run off in the Lost Creek Wilderness without their packs the packs had been stolen by a psychotic cannibal. It was not an experience he wanted to repeat, even if they were chasing a completely different creature this time around.

Alice found them a hidden crevice and stuffed the bags inside before marching over to one of the boulders and sitting down at the base where she took her shoes off and tied the laces together before slinging them around her neck, earning a wary glance between Sam and Dean.

“Don’t look down.” Alice said a little two innocently as she scrambled up the rock on all fours, waiting at the top for Sam and Dean who had a harder time given that they refused to take off their shoes. When they all reached the top Alice walked to the edge of the boulder and grabbed hold of the branch of an old tree that had fallen across the boulders, using it to launch herself across a sizable gap.

“You can’t be serious.” Dean eyed the gap and the tree.

“Do you want to get there or not?” Alice asked from the other side, hands on her hips and eyebrow quirked.

“I can’t believe people do this with packs.” Sam shook his head, grabbing the branch and swinging himself over and barely managing to keep his balance once he landed.

“Your turn, hot stuff.” Alice said to Dean, laughing at the displeased look that twisted his face.

“I’m not sure I like you as much as I originally thought.” Dean told her before grabbing the branch and leaping over. His landing was even worse and he was only saved from toppling backwards by Alice grabbing his jacket.

“For a hunter, you seem to have terrible agility.” She informed him with a slightly impatient look before letting go and walking over to the edge of the new boulder.

Dean glared at her back for a moment, still trying to figure out what was so irritatingly familiar about Alice. It was more than just the way she looked like he had originally thought. There was something about the way she acted at times, and for Dean to recognize someone by the way they acted meant he had to know them well which made it all the more confusing that he didn’t actually seem to recognize her.

“Hurry up, Dean.” Sam shouted back as Alice did a combination of a slide and a crab walk down the boulder to a patch of dirt at the base of two mansion sized boulders that were barely a foot apart from each other.

Sam and Dean followed to find Alice at the bottom, retying her shoes before leaping up and shimmying between the boulders.

“One of the only times I hate being so well endowed.” She informed them without shame as her breasts were squished up against her chest by the thin opening.

“I can’t say I mind it,” Dean winked as he shimmied in after her, Sam bringing up the rear and grumbling about getting a room. He was starting to wonder if Dean’s interest in Alice wasn’t as much of an act as he’d originally assumed.

The uncomfortably tight crevice lasted about twenty feet before opening up onto a rather large patch of dirt with a lone pine tree soaring up through the boulders that still surround them. Sam and Dean sighed in relief, earning a slightly evil sounding chuckle from Alice as she walked forward and shimmied through another equally tight crevice at the opposite end of the area in which they stood.

“I think she might be trying to suffocate us.” Dean groaned as he followed, Sam nodding grimly but following as well.

“Don’t be such a baby.” Alice’s voice echoed from ahead of them.

Before he could answer Dean stepped out onto the ledge and whistled at what he saw. They were standing on a huge ledge with towering boulders jutting up behind them and a gigantic canyon laid out before them. There was a river ambling through the lush greenery, vanishing under the ledge where they stood and into the mountain, presumably the one that came out where their campsite was. The walls of the canyon were covered in chaotic rock formations that Dean didn’t think could be natural with the way they twisted and formed such recognizable shapes like faces and lions.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Alice said softly, standing next to him and staring out at the view.

“It’s amazing.” Dean agreed. He’d never seen anywhere like this before, something so natural and beautiful and untouched. He was glad the reservoir project had failed.

“So, where has everyone been falling?” Sam asked after taking a moment to admire the view as well. There were signs of where rescue crews had worked, but no clear indication as to where the fatal falls had actually occurred.

“Right over there.” Alice pointed off to the left where a piece of the ledge had cleaved away from the rest of the rock roughly a foot, though it still clung on. She lead the way over, kneeling down next to what indeed appeared to be a large footprint pressed into the rock just in front of the large crack.

“So, everyone was standing right around here?” Dean asked, bending down to examine the print.

“That’s what I’ve heard, yeah. But then again, diner talk is only so reliable.” She stood back up, watching Sam as he moved to carefully look over the edge and down the drop. There were clear indications of the most recent victim at the base. A torn up shirt, blood, and an abandoned pack. Sam recalled that this woman hadn’t died instantly, but several hours later at the hospital. The rescue teams had obviously been to concerned with getting her out to worry about her belongings.

Before he could continue musing he heard Alice yelp behind him and saw her fall forward, over the ledge before he could react to stop her. Dean was shouting, rushing over and looking over the ledge only to find Alice looking up at him. She was clinging tightly to the top rung of what appeared to be a very ancient ladder secured to the rock, the rest of which was in a heap at the base.

“As happy as I am to not be dead right now, helping me up would be very appreciated.” Alice said up to him, “I’m very unsure about the stability of the remains of this ladder.”

“We can do that.” Dean answered with relief clear in his voice as he knelt down and grabbed her hand to haul her back up. “How about you stay very far from the edge. Perhaps tie yourself to something.”

“Thus starts a wonderful train of thought about stealing your belt given that we have no rope and thus your pants fall down and I get a good look at those thighs.” Alice answered, brushing herself off and stepping back from the ledge.

Dean gave a suggestive jiggle of his hips and wiggle of his eyebrows that had Alice grinning before Sam interrupted and insisted that Alice get farther from the ledge as Dean had suggested. Good old Sam, always ruining the fun.

“Yes mom.” Alice quipped, playfully, “Off to timeout for me.”

“You gotta give her points for staying so calm after nearly falling to her death.” Dean pointed out as Sam shook his head, obviously still unsure of what to make of this woman who he clearly didn’t trust. Not that Dean trusted her either, he was just better at putting up with people even if he didn’t trust them.

“Whatever.” Sam answered, following Alice to ask her what exactly happened.

“Well.” Alice mused, scrunching her eyebrows and tilting her head slightly, “I was just standing there watching you two and all of a sudden I felt two hands on my back that shoved me forward, hard. And you know the rest.”

“A foot farther back and I would’ve seen him.” Dean shook his head in annoyance at himself. It probably would’ve been hard to make out the ghost in the bright daylight, but not impossible and something would’ve been better than nothing.

“I don’t think it was a him.” Alice told them, continuing when they looked confused, “The hands felt small. Like a woman’s hands.”

“So…maybe it was the wife? Maybe she doesn’t want to see anyone else happy here or something.” Sam mused.

“Well, either way, I think we should head back. There’s nothing else to see here.” Dean suggested to everyone’s agreement.

They worked their way back out the way they came and retrieved their packs, walking back and reaching the trail head just as the sun started to set. Alice waved goodbye and hopped into her truck, following them back towards town and then turning off to the trailer park as Sam and Dean continued on to their motel.

 

oOoOoOo

 

“So, now what?” Dean asked as he flopped back on one of the beds. His feet ached from the sixteen mile walk over the past two days and he was almost tempted to pull the rather girly move of filling the tub up with hot water and soaking them in it.

“Now…I have no idea. We’ve tried the library, we’ve tried town hall, we’ve tried the police. I’m not sure where else to look.” Sam groaned, flopping on his own bed.

It wasn’t often they hit a roadblock in a case like this. It happened, of course, especially with the older ghosts from times when burials weren’t well documented. There were ghosts all over the country that various hunters had gone after for years but had never been able to kill because the location of their bodies was totally unknown or just impossible to get to.

“What do you think woke her up?” Dean asked, thinking maybe this new line of enquiry would yield better results.

“Well the first couple that went out there and got attacked were newlyweds on their honeymoon. But they can’t be the first set of newlyweds to have gone out there since Marcus and his wife died.”

“Maybe they did something, or said something? ‘I shall love you until the end of time my dearest!’” Dean mocked in a high voice.

“It’s as good of a guess as any. But right now I just want to go to sleep so shut up and stop talking.” Sam grumbled, apparently to exhausted to bother taking off his clothes and change into something more comfortable.

“Night Sammy.” Dean yawned.

“Night.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Good morning, boys.” Alice smiled from behind the counter, pouring them a cup of coffee each.

“Morning.” They both mumbled, obviously in need of the offered beverage and not able to offer up any further conversation until they got it.

“I’d ask if you’d found anything since yesterday, but you obviously aren’t capable of function just yet so I’ll be back in a few minutes when the caffeine kicks in.” And with that she was off again, chatting with the cook as there were no other customers.

“She acts like we’ve been best friends for years.” Dean mumbled, gulping down the coffee.

“As I’ve said, over and over again.” Sam grumbled, sipping his coffee much slower and watching Alice.

“Yeah, yeah. But this is different, she seriously acts like she knows us but I’m pretty sure we’ve never met her. She knew we were hunters, and the way she acts,” Dean shook his head, as if trying to jostle around the pieces of a puzzle to re-arrange them in a manner that made more sense.

Sam mostly wanted to point out that this was what he’d been getting at all along but instead he just shrugged, trying to make sense of it all. “Maybe she’s just heard of us. We haven’t exactly been low-key over the past few years. We’ve been on the FBI’s most wanted list how many times? And there’s Chuck’s books. Not to mention opening the gates of hell, fighting with angels, raising and then locking up Lucifer,” Sam ticked the events off on his fingers. “Not exactly the sort of stuff that lets one stay under the radar.”

“Maybe.” Dean mumbled, still not satisfied with the answer but amused to watch his little brother doing his typical “I must rationalize everything” routine.

“I just wonder how she knows about the supernatural, she’s obviously not a hunter so I’m guessing she didn’t loose someone in a violent manner.” Sam mused, watching Alice as she dug around under the counter for something while Sam continued his rationalization quest.

“Or she did and she just handled it like a normal human being and got some good grief counseling.” Dean retorted.

“I know about it because I had really weird friends in highschool, among other things.” Alice supplied from under the counter.

“Do that again and I’m going to be forced to throw holy water on you to check that you’re human, because your hearing obviously isn’t.” Dean answered, apparently forgetting that Sam had already surreptitiously tested Alice for not being human during their hike the days prior.

Alice just smiled sweetly, “You can pour holy water on me whenever you like, Dean.”

“Alright, lets focus on the case shall we?” Sam interrupted, trying to ignore the threatening look the cook shot out at them from the kitchen that clearly implied he had practice defending waitresses like Alice from the intentions of random men passing through the area. Not that Alice seemed to really need the protection, but the threat still hung in the air as Dean and Alice made eyes at each other.

“Yes, yes. Did you find anything?” Alice asked, a teasing gleam in her eye.

“No.” Sam said, eying her suspiciously. “We even went out and searched the cemetery ourselves this morning. No sign of either Marcus or his wife Elizabeth.”

“You obviously don’t know where to look then.” Alice pulled a piece of paper out from her apron pocket and plopped it on the counter. “They were buried on Marcus’s family plot outside of Hot Sulfur Springs Colorado.”

“How did you find this?” Sam looked attentively over the print out of the obituary.

“I’m cute and I know the locals.” Alice told them, pouring a coffee for herself.

“Well alright then, lets get to Hot Sulfur and burn some bones.” Dean drained the last of his coffee, standing up and looking at Alice. “What’s the quickest way there?”

“The backroads, which your Impala can’t handle. If you want roads your Impala can handle it’ll take a few hours at least. Probably more since it’s the weekend so the highways will be jammed.”

“Don’t insult the Impala.” Dean said, frowning as the events that had resulted in her currently dented hood flashed through his mind.

“I’m not insulting the Impala, I’m protecting the Impala. Which, from the look of the dented-in front end, you haven’t been doing very well.” Alice gave him a disdainful look, obviously not happy with the state of the classic car. “You don’t have enough clearance in that. You need a truck if you want to go the backroads way.”

“Well, where do you propose we get a truck then?” Dean quipped back, obviously not happy to have the state of his car mentioned. “This doesn’t seem like the kind of town with a rental agency.”

“I’ll take you. You can park the Impala with my trailer and then I’ll bring you back.”

“But what about your job?” Sam interrupted again. He seemed to have to interrupt them a lot, he was noticing. Either they started flirting in the middle of something important, or they looked like they wanted to kill each other. Or both.

“Meh. I’ve only been here a month and I didn’t intend to stay long anyways. I’ve got enough saved up to tide me over to the next job.” She told them, untying her apron and turning around to shout at the cook, “I’m outta here David, better call Marcy!”

And with that Alice practically sprinted out the door and towards the Impala, barely giving Sam and Dean a chance to catch up.

“You’re crazy.” Dean informed her as she climbed in the back of the car and they pulled out of the parking lot.

“Thank you.”

 

OoOoOoOoO

 

Half an hour later and they were on the road in Alice’s big black truck, Sam in the back seat and Dean riding shotgun. Sam had tried to win the coveted shotgun seat but had lost out when Dean had won the deciding round of rock-paper-scissors. Now Sam was crammed in the back, comforted by the fact that his knees were digging into the back of Dean’s seat and probably making it uncomfortable for his brother which made his earlier defeat worth it.

When Dean reached for the radio dials Alice slapped his hand away and pointed at him accusingly, “Driver picks the music. Shotgun doesn’t try to change it and doesn’t loose a finger or two.”

“You seem to have a thing for cutting off fingers,” Dean grumbled, settling back into his seat and carefully tucking his fingers under his arms as he crossed them.

“You’ve got ten, you can spare a few I think. Besides, I’m sure one of your angel buddies can pop them back on.” Alice said nonchalantly.

Sam and Dean’s eyes met in the rear-view mirror, both sliding warily to Alice and then back to each other before Sam mouthed “Chuck’s books?” at his brother who just shrugged and looked back at Alice.

“So, you know about angels and us…dealing with them?” Sam asked after a moment, hand resting on the hilt of the knife tucked into his boot. He didn’t exactly like the idea of stabbing someone who was driving the vehicle they were in as it trundled along a rather sketchy road at a rather sketchy speed for said sketchy road, but he felt comforted by the feeling of the knife after Alice’s strange response. Besides, they’d survived a car crash before. Mostly.

Alice quirked an eyebrow and looked at Sam in the mirror with a look of confusion on her face, “What?”

“You said that if you cut off Dean’s fingers one of our angel buddies could just pop them back on. Not many people know about angels, let alone how closely we…work with some of them.” Sam answered.

“Oh. Umm… I honestly don’t recall saying that.”

This earned another skeptical look between the brothers, but they let it drop given that they were pretty much at her mercy currently. It was not an issue that wouldn’t be brought up later though, once the truck had been stopped.

A short while later Dean spoke up again, apparently not content to let it just drop. “So, how do you know about the supernatural, Alice?”

“Like I said, weird high school buddies. And a few weird foster families. When you’re being traded around the country from family to family you basically just end up raising yourself and trying not to get killed at foster family dinners where you’re the black sheep. And when I was ten I lived in a haunted house. So I got curious and started looking into everything.”

“I’m sorry, that you don’t have a family I mean.” Sam said softly. He might not trust Alice, especially now, but he could at least sympathize with not having a typical family. Even if there was a chance it was a lie.

“Hmmm, I suppose it could be considered bad. But I find that the family you choose is often much better than the family you are given.”

Sam and Dean’s eyes caught each other in the rear-view mirror once more, both thinking of their adopted family. Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Cas, Charlie, Ash. All but one of them were gone now and in that moment it really hit both of them. They’d carved a pretty good family out of the ruins of their lives, and they’d lost almost every single piece of it.

Sensing the change in atmosphere Alice quieted slightly, watching the boys out of the corner of her eye. “Everything alright there, guys?”

“You’re just…very right.” Sam answered, looking out the window at the trees slipping past the the window.

The rest of the ride went by in silence, country tunes thrumming intermittently through the speakers as the signal came and went until they reached the town Alice had told them about. Hot Sulfur was small, a motel and a dinner and a small resort along with a smattering of houses and a few little stores. The Colorado River cut straight through town and several sets of train tracks twisted along next to it. They wound through the town and up a short dirt road to a cemetery laid out across rolling hills.

“It’s still to bright out to be digging up graves, we’ll have to come back later.” Sam said once they stepped out of the truck to stretch their legs, “We may as well find the graves now though. We’ll move faster if we split up.”

Alice nodded and walked off in the opposite direction of the Winchesters who just stood and watched her until she vanished into the dip between two gravestone covered hills.

“Yeah, she’s perfectly trust worthy.” Sam quipped at his brother.

“Hey, we don’t know the whole story.” Dean responded, still wanting to…not trust Alice but at least not distrust her to the point of thinking she was working against them. And he had no idea why.

“Does it matter, Dean?” Sam was clearly getting exasperated. “Sure, maybe she knows about all the angel stuff because of those damn books, but then why the hell wouldn’t she say so? Why would she deny the comment she made in the car on the way here? It doesn’t add up, Dean, you’ve got to see that!”

“I do see it, but just because it doesn’t add up doesn’t mean she’s some monster bitch trying to work against us. We already tested her when we were hiking and turned her water-bottle into holy water, and she could get in the impala which is warded against demons, and I touched her with a silver knife and nothing happened.” Dean argued as they walked around the cemetery.

“That was two days ago. She could’ve gotten possessed since then.” Sam retorted.

“Fine. We’ll test her again then, happy?”

Sam just grunted, looking down at the graves he was walking past. He couldn’t wrap his head around why Dean was so willing to believe this strange girl they had only met less than a week ago. Sure, they had worked with people they barely knew before, like Charlie, but this was different. Charlie didn’t throw off weird vibes of being someone they knew but didn’t and she had had zero knowledge of the real supernatural when they met.

“Over here.” Dean shouted from the edge of the cemetery and a few yards from Sam, waving his arm so Alice could see where they were.

“Marcus and Elizabeth Daley.” Alice read, looking around at the tombstones of the other Daley’s that surrounded it once she reached them.

“Alright, well now we know where to go so I say we head to the diner and get lunch, then hang around until it gets dark.” Sam suggested to mutual agreement from Dean and Alice. And as soon possible Sam fully intended to perform the standard tests on Alice once again, and maybe a few extras that weren’t among the standard ones. Just in case.

 

OoOoOoOoO

 

“So, we’re burning both of them?” Alice asked, leaning on a shovel as they looked down at the two gaping holes in front of them.

“Better safe then sorry. For all we know Marcus just had really small hands.” Dean replied, uncapping the lighter fluid and pouring a generous amount into Marcus’s grave.

“You’re the expert.” Alice conceded, watching as the match was thrown in and the grave burst into warm flames.

As Sam moved to do the same to Elizabeth’s grave Alice felt a hard shove into her back and if it wasn’t for her shovel she would’ve toppled into the hole. Sam and Dean had noticed the movement and both moved as if to prepare for a fight but before either could draw their shotguns Alice had used the momentum from the shove to spin with the shovel as her axis and swung the digging instrument up through the enraged looking young woman behind her who vanished in a puff of black smoke.

“Well look at that. The shovel must have iron in it. How useful.” Alice smiled, weighing the shovel in her hands and staring at it fondly.

“Is there anything that can shake you?” Dean wondered aloud, grinning at Alice. She may have unsettled him a bit with her angel comments, but after Sam had gone through every test he could think of short of trying to figure out if she was an angel (since neither of the brothers were exactly sure how to do that) Dean had returned back to his easy banter with her.

“Not that I’m aware of, no.”

“I don’t know about you, Sam, but Alice is growing on me.” Dean continued to grin at her, earning a wicked return grin and a twirl of her shovel.

“I’ve noticed.” Sam replied unhappily, clearly still moping about his distrust of Alice despite the fact that as far as they could tell she was totally human. He finally set light to Elizabeth’s grave and it went up quickly, a wail coming from the bones as the spirit was destroyed.

They watched her burn for awhile, each lost in their thoughts until finally the flames started to die down and they went back to Alice’s truck.

“So, that’s that then? No more ledge shoving?” Alice asked, turning the vehicle back towards Bailey.

“Hopefully not. I’ll leave my number with you just in case though.” Dean winked, earning an unhappy round of muttering from his brother in the back-seat.

“Now I’m hoping we got it wrong.” Alice grinned over at Dean which earned him a painful knee to the back from his brother. Obviously Sam still wanted pretty much nothing to do with Alice, despite their tests revealing nothing. Dean was tired of arguing about it though, so he petulantly shoved back against the seat and ignored Sam’s little-brother antics for the rest of the drive.


	5. Chapter 5

“I don’t see why we couldn’t just bring her along.” Dean grumbled from the driver’s seat.

They had left Bailey that morning after saying goodbye to Alice. Alice had asked to come along, saying she was board with Bailey and hunting seemed much more interesting of a job than random waitressing gigs. Sam had shot the idea down though, still not willing to trust her.

“Maybe because we had no idea who she really was and for all we know she could’ve been working for Crowley or Naomi.” Sam shot back.

“Come on, Sam. She wasn’t possessed! We checked. Totally human.”

“We don’t know that she wasn’t an angel. We don’t exactly have a way to check for that. And besides, who says they couldn’t be working with a human to throw us off?” Sam pointed out.

“We coulda…made a circle of angel warding and seen if she could get inside it. Or out of it.” Dean pointedly ignored the part about Naomi or Crowley potentially working with a human.

“Well it’s to late now.” Sam muttered as they pulled up to a motel somewhere in Utah. Garth had told them there was a case near by and thankfully Dean had gone along without much argument, aside from wanting to bring Alice along.

“Seriously though, Sam. You _know_ there was something familiar about her.” Dean pressed as he got out of the car.

“Yes, I do. And I also know that neither of us have any idea why and that’s weird. I don’t like traveling with people I consider weirdly familiar for no apparent reason in the back seat of the car where they could easily stab me or slit my throat or perform some weird demonic ritual when I’m not looking.” Sam snapped back, leaving a good portion unsaid. That portion consisting of not wanting to see Dean get himself hurt by blindly throwing himself at Alice to distract himself from Cas being dead.

“Paranoid.” Dean grumbled, walking over to a nearby building to check in as Sam went around to pop the trunk and grab their bags.

As soon as the trunk was open Sam’s hand instinctively went for his gun as he caught sight of legs, only stopping when he saw a flash of familiarly colorful hair.

“God-damnit, Alice.” Sam hissed, glaring down at her as she stretched her legs out of the trunk and grinned sweetly.

“You know, this wasn’t the kind of ‘riding shotgun’ I had in mind,” She toyed with a sawed off that hadn’t been stored in the lower compartment of the trunk, “but this trunk is actually quite roomy.”

Sam started at her, looking like he was contemplating slamming the lid of the trunk and just walking off. This was the last thing he wanted, a creepy girl in the trunk of the Impala. He took a moment to glance around, relieved that there was no one in the parking lot who might assume Alice to be some sort of kidnapped sex-slave.

Finally he just threw his hands up in surrender to whatever strange twist of fate was screwing with them today and shouted over at his brother, “Dean! Your damn girlfriend is here.”

“My…what?” Dean turned around, a confused look on his face that switched to a grin when he saw Alice sitting in the trunk. “That couldn’t have been a comfortable ride.”

“Not the worst car trunk I’ve ended up in.” She informed nonchalantly as she stood and popped her back. Alice had a habit of saying unsettling things as if they were nothing, which always sent another shock of familiarity through Dean that he tried to ignore.

“You need to go home, Alice. We’ll buy you a bus ticket.” Sam told her. He was not having this creepy woman hang around a second longer, she was going back to Bailey and they were never dealing with her again. Even if she wasn’t one of Crowley or Naomi’s goons she obviously wasn’t someone to be trusted and the Winchester’s had enough on their plate without her adding another serving of “what the fuck did we ever do to deserve this?” stew.

“What? So I can pretend to climb on the bus and then crawl back in your trunk when you aren’t looking?” Alice’s eyebrow had shot up again, hands on her hips and her head tilted slightly.

“Why exactly do you feel the need to stick with us anyways?” Sam grumbled, still trying to figure out a way to make her leave and stay gone instead of popping up inconveniently.

“I just get this feeling you two are self sacrificing to the point of being suicidal and you need someone with a _slightly_ healthier outlook to keep an eye on you.”

“You can’t say she’s wrong, Sam.” Dean sided with Alice.

“Fine, fine. Whatever. I’m getting a drink.” Sam surrendered for now, turning to walk to the bar across the street. He knew the expression on his brother’s face: he wasn’t going to win this argument. Maybe if he brought up how similar this was to his unwavering trust of Ruby Dean would finally budge? Either way, it wasn’t an argument he was going to continue right now. “Be sure to figure out where she’s sleeping before I get back.”

“Your brother is just a basket of kittens, isn’t he?” Alice chuckled as Sam walked away.

“Eh. Depends on the day. He’s been going through a lot.” Dean said evasively with a touch of defensiveness for his baby brother as he grabbed his and Sam’s packs. Alice had a pack of her own slung over her shoulder already. “What about your truck and your camper?”

“A friend let me leave them on his property.” Alice followed him into the room with two beds, a couch, and a small table and kitchenette. “I’ll take the couch.”

“Sounds good to me.” Dean replied, knowing having Alice in the room with them would probably make Sam blow a gasket which a tiny, vindictive, part of Dean sort of liked because he was sick of Sam’s griping. He didn’t like seeing Sam upset, he just didn’t see why he _was_ anymore. Sure, Alice still hadn’t quite earned his trust but she had been helpful and totally cool in the face of supernatural danger so what was the big deal? If she wanted to kill them or sick one of their enemies on them she would’ve done it by now, wouldn’t she?

“So. I’m your girlfriend now, hu?” Alice smiled sweetly.

“Sam seems to think so.” Dean grinned back as he tossed his pack onto one bed and Sam’s onto the other.

“Well then.” She sauntered over and kissed him, “best make it official.”

Dean was a little shocked at the kiss, not because it was strange or different or even that he’d been surprised that Alice had done it. There was just _something_ about it, something that Dean couldn’t for the life of him identify.

“What, am I not allowed to kiss you?” Alice responded to his pause, a slight edge to her voice.

“No, it’s not that. Kiss me all you like.” Dean answered absentmindedly, still trying to identify what he’d felt in the kiss.

“Then what? Most men prostrate themselves at my feet and beg for more when I kiss them, not look like they’ve been stuck with a needle.”

And there was that “I have no shame and I’ll say whatever I damn well please when I please” part of Alice again.

“Just…something about it was…familiar. I don’t know. I’ve got this weird idea that I should _know_ you, that we’ve met before or something. But I can’t place it at all. Neither can Sam.” Dean explained.

“Is that why he’s so jumpy around me?” Alice guessed.

“I think so, yeah. That’s at least part of it.”

“And the kiss, it just encouraged that ‘I know you feeling’?”

“Yeah.”

“Well then. Time for a proper kiss.” Alice grinned, leaning forward and crashing her mouth into Dean’s.

Dean groaned contentedly at the sudden onslaught and rested his hands on Alice’s hips, pulling her closer. He was sure of it now, there was something familiar about the feel of Alice. The thrum of the blood beneath her skin, or maybe the curve of her mouth, _something_. But before he could think about it to much he had backed up into the couch, getting knocked off balance into sitting on it. Alice didn’t miss a beat and followed him down, moving to straddle his hips and continue the kiss as her hands roamed along his shoulders and up into his hair. Dean liked that she didn’t hold back, that she just went for what she wanted.

“Damnit, I’m getting my own fucking room.” Sam complained from where he was standing in the doorway that neither Alice nor Dean had heard open.

“You do that, Sammy.” Dean mumbled, going back to kissing a grinning Alice as Sam stalked over and snatched his pack before leaving.

“Whoops.” Alice chuckled against Dean’s lips.

“Not our fault he’s got a stick up his ass.” Dean replied, kissing along Alice’s jaw and down her throat.

“Very true.” She tilted her head back, exhaling softly.

 

OoOoOoOoO

 

Sam stalked outside and got a room for himself, on the opposite side of the motel, from the slightly terrified looking man behind the registration desk. As soon as he closed the door behind him he practically shouted in frustration, not understanding at all how his brother trusted Alice so much and finally understanding what it had been like for Dean as he stood by watching Sam get closer and closer to Ruby. He desperately wished Bobby were there to talk to. Bobby would get it. Bobby would know what to say to Dean to make him understand how stupid he was being over this girl.

Honestly Sam just wanted _someone_ to talk to. Someone who understood everything and would help him figure out what to do because he was at a loss. But everyone who might be helpful, and trustworthy, was dead. Except for…

“Charlie.” Sam said to himself before pulling out his laptop and pulling up Skype, hoping Charlie was actually online despite her status of being away according to the messenger. He clicked the video call button and waited, actually feeling himself relax a bit as Charlie’s familiar face popped up on screen. She had on an elaborate headset and Sam could see the reflection of her screen in a mirror behind her that showed she was playing Moondor.

“Sam? I’m kinda busy…” She said before shouting a command to move the catapults.

“It’s about Dean…he’s…doing something stupid and potentially dangerous and I don’t know what to do about it.” Sam confessed.

Charlie stared at him for a moment before telling her fellow gamers she was logging off and turning her full attention to Sam, “And I’m the one you call? I mean, I’m flattered and all, but…”

“We’re rapidly running out of people to trust.” Sam said, letting the unsaid reminder that everyone else they considered family aside from Charlie was now dead hang in the air.

“Alright then, what’s up?” Charlie said, preening a little at the rare show of trust from a Winchester that came with knowing she had become like a little sister to the brothers. She liked having siblings aside from her X-box and PS3.

Sam explained everything to her starting with Castiel’s cry for help nearly two months ago now and ending with the fact that he was pretty sure Alice and Dean were now having sex several rooms over.

“Damn.” Charlie said, leaning back in her chair and contemplating Sam through the screen. “Damn.”

“Yeah,” Sam mumbled. “He’s doing the same damn thing I did with Ruby and we both know how that ended.”

“Is he though?” Charlie said after a pause. “I mean, I’ve only got your side of the story to go off of here, but maybe you’re being a little paranoid _because_ of Ruby? And because you and your brother are the textbook definition of over-protective of each other.”

Sam contemplated what she said, wondering if maybe she was right. Was he letting everything that had happened with Ruby, everything that had happened in general, color his feelings about Alice? There was also the fact that laying it all out to someone like this made Sam realize that Alice probably _was_ just a distraction, someone Dean was pretty much just throwing himself at to try and not think about Cas. After all, he and Dean could be the poster children for not dealing with grief in a healthy manner.

“Maybe you’re right,” Sam said before pausing a bit, “But there’s still something strange about her. Even if she isn’t working against us, there’s _something_.”

“Well then put that big brain of yours to work and figure it out.”Charlie said good-naturedly and Sam smiled back, feeling reassured to have at least one person who he could still count on and trust enough to hash this out with even if they hadn’t really figured it out.

 

OoOoOoOoO

 

“You know, I still only know your first name.” Dean pointed out an hour later as they lay tangled and panting in the sheets of one of the beds.

“That’s the first thing out of your mouth after awesome sex?” Alice giggled.

“Yes?”

“Alice Sabella Triggs.”

“Nice to meet you, Alice Sabella Triggs.” Dean grinned, suddenly getting a twinge of familiarity at the sound of her full name. But the afterglow of sex chased it quickly away and they both fell into an easy sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

“Seriously, Dean?! You slept with Alice?” Sam groaned as his brother came, alone, into the diner. Despite his reassuring conversation with Charlie, and subsequently long night of research, Sam still didn’t like the idea of his brother sleeping with Alice.

“Who said I slept with Alice? I could’ve slept with anyone.” Dean replied, trying to snatch a piece of Sam’s toast.

“Oh, so you made out with her then got up and found a prostitute did you?” Sam swatted Dean’s hand away, shoving a menu at him as a way of telling him to order his own damn toast.

“No, I slept with her.” Dean said over the top of the menu.

“Dean!” Sam resisted the urge to throw something at his brother’s satisfied smirk. Why did Dean always have to be so infuriating?

“What? She’s hot, smart, and was more than willing.”

“And we don’t know anything about her, Dean! Except that there’s something weird about her.” The younger Winchester pressed, unwilling to drop it.

“Her name is Alice Sabella Triggs, she is twenty-eight years old, born in Seattle, parents were killed when she was four, grew up in foster care all over the country until she aged out and started traveling the country on her own and has been ever since.” Dean supplied.

“Sounds like you had a nice long conversation after sex. But that still doesn’t tell us anything about her, Dean.”

Dean just glared at his brother, unwilling to give this argument yet another go-round. For the life of him he just couldn’t figure out why Sam was so distrustful of Alice. Sure, there was that weird sense of knowing but not knowing her, but that was no reason to treat her like the plague after they had tested her for being any possible type of monster short of an angel.

“I just…think we should be careful Dean. We’ve lost a lot of people who got close to us. Had them used against us.” Sam whispered, so quiet that Dean almost didn’t catch it. “I don’t want to see that happen again.”

And there it was, out in the open. Sure, Sam didn’t really trust Alice in general but more than that he didn’t trust that she wouldn’t be torn away from them like everyone else, that her easy slide into their lives would get her killed and Dean hurt. Dean had been hurt enough.

“So, what? We should just close ourselves off from the world?” Dean answered after a moment.

“No. I don’t know. Maybe? I just don’t want to see anyone else hurt because they tried to help us, Dean. I don’t want to see you hurt again. After what happened with Cas,”

Dean cut him off, still unwilling to broach the topic of the angel. “I get it. Look…Alice is a smart girl. We’ll lay everything out for her, no specifics, just let her know where things stand and if she thinks its to dangerous we’ll buy her a bus ticket. But if she wants to stick around despite all of it, we let her. And you pull the stick out of your ass and like it.”

“Fine.” Sam conceded after a moment of contemplation. He still wasn’t sure about any of this, but Charlie had been right when she’d pointed out that he was probably just being over-protective. “Where is she, anyways?”

“Right here.” Alice answered, having appeared next to their table without notice.

“Damnit, Alice. Don’t do that.” Dean glared half-heartedly, nearly choking on the words when he realized how often he had said them to someone else. To Castiel.

“Sorry.” She answered, not catching Dean’s hesitation as she sat down next to him and stole a bite of his pancakes.

“Alright, look, Alice. We need to talk about you being here.” Sam jumped right in.

“Oh boy.” Alice replied, sitting back in her chair and surveying the Winchester brothers.

“We’re not going to make you leave,” Dean said a little to quickly. “We just want to lay things out so you understand what you’re getting yourself into. We aren’t exactly standard issue hunters.”

“I kinda picked up on that, but alright.” Alice nodded, waiting for them to continue.

“So,” Sam started, appearing to choose his words carefully, “over the past few years we’ve been involved in some pretty heavy shit. We fought Lucifer, and multiple angels. We fought alongside a couple angels as well. We killed three of the four horse men and made some pretty…ah…interesting deals with the fourth. Both of us have died and gone to hell, and heaven, and we’ve been to purgatory as well. We’ve fought and are fighting leviathans, the new king of hell, several wannabe rulers of heaven, and more. And we’ve lost almost every single member of our family to those monsters. Both our actual family and the people we consider family. Some very, very recently.”

Alice was quiet, looking between them as she let it sink in what they had said. Dean wasn’t looking at her, just doodling in his syrup with his fork. Sam was watching her closely and drumming his fingers on the tabletop.

“Well. I think this just furthers my argument that you need someone to watch your backs,” she concluded after a moment. “I’m sticking around.”

Dean looked almost relieved, abandoning his syrup doodles to smile up at her.

“Alright then. Lets get to work on the case.” Sam said in response to Alice’s decision to stay. He still wasn’t sure about it, but he’d promised Dean that if she wanted to stay after hearing everything that he’d let her. He never promised he wouldn’t keep a very close eye on her however.

“Yes, what has our wonderful buddy sent us after this time?” Dean asked in sarcastic reference to Garth.

“Leviathan run, apparently.” Sam sighed, not looking forward to this. “That’s what he thinks anyways.”

“Explain the Leviathan thing to me?” Alice asked, “I’ve read about them but I’m guessing the reality is a bit different.”

“Well, they can take the form of any human so long as they have a piece of that human’s body lying around. And they have a voracious appetite for human flesh. You can slow them down with borax, and by cutting of their heads, but it’s rather hard to actually kill them. We took out their leader so those that are left are pretty scattered and not as big of a threat as when they’re all teamed up and organized.”

“So what makes you think whatever is going on is a Leviathan?” Alice pressed as Dean continued to scarf down his pancakes.

“There’s been some very messy deaths, and recently one of the people who was thought dead was seen near town.” Sam told her, clicking around on his computer.

“They didn’t find the body?” Dean asked through a mouth full of food.

“No. Chew with your mouth closed. Just a lot of blood and a few fingers.” Sam chastised.

“Did the guy have all his fingers when he was spotted?” Alice wondered aloud, leaning around to see what Sam had up on the computer.

“Not sure. He was seen from a distance, and the report came in from one of the local drunks, so the police aren’t taking it very seriously.” Sam turned the computer towards her, showing the newspaper article.

“What’s our next move then?” She inquired as she skimmed the article.

“Well, we don’t have a fake ID for you so I think the best thing to do is for you and Dean to go check out the area where the guy was spotted and I’ll go talk to the cops.” Sam said after a moment of contemplation. “That and neon hair isn’t exactly standard FBI issue. I sent a picture of the guy to Dean’s phone, and the coordinates of the area where he was seen. We’ll meet back at the motel in two hours.”

“But…my pancakes.” Dean moped, staring down at his half finished plate.

“That’s your second plate, you’ll live.” Sam told him, already heading for the door and presumably to the motel to change into his suit, his own food untouched.

“Guess it’s just me and you then, hot stuff.” Alice said, slurping up the last bit of orange juice from her cup and walking out to the Impala as Dean paid for the food, glancing worriedly at Sam’s untouched plate.

 

OoOoOoOoO

 

“Alright, so according to the papers the drunk dude saw him right…here.” Dean said, looking at the article on his phone and locating the spot.

It was the shoulder of a little two lane dirt road, a small picnic table just off the side of the shoulder and under a few trees. There was nothing at all to indicate a Leviathan had ever been in this calm little escape from an endless highway.

“What exactly are we looking for?” Alice asked from just inside the tree line while Dean explored around the table.

“Anything weird.”

“Does an ear count?”

Dean turned around to see Alice standing up, one hand holding up what appeared to be a violently disembodied ear and the other perched on her hip, her head tilted in examination of the bit of flesh.

“Yeah, that counts. Does it have any friends near by?” Dean came over and took the lumpy pink thing, examining it a bit.

“Lets find out, shall we?” She answered, toeing through the tall grass and scrutinizing the area. Dean dropped the ear on a rock and helped her search until suddenly Alice’s phone buzzed so loud they both jumped.

“Sorry.” Alice said quickly before she pulled out her pre-paid phone and glared at it before flipping it open, “What, Zach? No. I’m not even in Colorado anymore you pig.” She paused, “Well. I’m sorry but the voice says I’m almost out of minutes so bye-bye now.”

Dean froze, staring at her as she clicked the phone shut and shoved it in her pocket.

 _The voice says I’m almost out of minutes, Dean!_ The memory rang clearly through Dean’s head and he just stared at Alice until she finally turned around and caught the look.

“What? Another suspicion of familiarity?” Alice asked, having learned that this was exactly what Dean’s confused-wary look meant.

“Yeah.” He said simply, still trying to work it out.

Alice couldn’t be… no. Cas was dead. Naomi had stabbed him with an angel blade, there was no way Cas could live through that. …Was there?

“You know, I have the same thing with you and Sam.” Alice admitted slowly, pulling Dean back out of his thoughts.

“You do?”

“Yeah. When I saw you in the diner in Bailey… I just _knew_ you guys. And I felt like I should go over and help you out. I didn’t really think it was weird though, I have memory issues sometimes because of a car accident when I was sixteen so people showing up that I think I should know but don’t isn’t that unusual. But then when you guys started saying how you found me really familiar to I wasn’t sure what to think anymore.”

They stared at each other for awhile, each trying to figure out exactly how they knew the other but coming up blank.

“I think we’ve found all we can find here. We should head back.” Dean said after a bit.

Alice nodded and they got back into the Impala and they drove back towards town in silence, not even the radio on.


	7. Chapter 7

“So, what did you guys find?” Sam asked when Alice and Dean walked into the motel room.

“An ear.” Alice supplied absentmindedly, still caught up in the strange encounter with Dean.

“Everything okay?” Sam asked, picking up on the weird mood carried between Alice and his brother.

He didn’t get an answer. Dean was just sitting on his bed staring at Alice and Alice was sitting on the couch and staring at him.

“Alright, you know what. I’m going to figure this out.” Dean announced suddenly as he jumped up and grabbed the newspaper stacked next to Sam and a sharpie from his bag.

“What are you doing?” Alice asked as Dean spread pages of the paper around to form a circle on the floor and started scribbling strange symbols on them.

“You’re trying to figure out if she’s an angel…?” Sam realized, watching his brother work and not sure exactly what he was doing but recognizing the symbols of angel warding.

“What in the world makes you think I’m an angel?” Alice laughed, though the laughter died off when she saw that Dean did in fact look pretty serious. “Oh alright, tell me what to do then.”

“Get in the circle.” Dean instructed, standing back once it was finished.

“I don’t see how me being able to step in a circle of newspapers is going to prove anyth-” Alice came up short, a frustrated look on her face as she tried to step inside the ring. She stood back and contemplated it for a moment, then circled around and tried again somewhere else. And then somewhere else and somewhere else until she’d tried the entire perimeter of the circle and hadn’t been able to get inside.

“Shit.” Sam muttered, eying Alice closely. “What made you figure it out, Dean?”

Dean didn’t answer, just stared at Alice with even more scrutinization than Sam.

“But I’m not an angel. Just a crazy smoker chick who plays guitar and travels the country and apparently trails around after hot hunters to keep them from being stupid.” Alice frowned, her face screwed up in confusion.

“Maybe you’re fallen. We met a fallen angel once, named Anna, who fell and was born as a human and had no memory of being an angel until some weird shit started to happen around her.” Sam suggested. It seemed the most logical explanation.

“No.” Dean said softly, turning to Sam. “Think about what she’s said. All the weird stuff. Exactly what she said. How she said it.” Dean pressed, trying to communicate his unspoken idea to Sam. Dean couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud, he could hardly even think it. Because if he thought it, if he let himself give into his traitorous hope that Cas wasn’t dead, that he was here… Dean wasn’t sure he could pull himself back from the ledge again if that wasn’t true.

“Dean, that’s not possible.” Sam whispered as Alice looked between them in confusion.

“Why not? Sam, think. Think how he…he died. Every other angel we’ve seen killed by an angel blade their vessels were there and their wings were burned into the ground. We searched half that damn mine and there was no trace of…Jimmy.” Dean pushed, still dancing around actually saying it.

“Naomi could’ve taken the body and gotten rid of the wing burns.” Sam pointed out, though he didn’t sound sure.

“Why? Why would she care that much? It’s not like it would be the first time police had stumbled on a dead angel. And Cas has lost his memory and become nearly human before.” Dean finally caved and neared in on saying what he was really thinking.

“Who’s Cas, Jimmy, and Naomi?” Alice asked, still trying to navigate the conversation.

“But he’s never taken another vessel before, Dean.” Sam argued.

“Yes he has, Jimmy’s daughter, remember?”

The brothers stared each other down, trying to sort things out in their heads.

“Alright, alright. Alice,” Sam turned to her, “where were you on the night of June second?”

“I, umm…hmm.” Alice’s face screwed up before she turned and pulled out her camera from her bag and flipped through it in an effort to find something to jog her memory. “I have no idea. Usually I take pictures every day out of boredom and to help with my memory issues…but I’ve got nothing starting on the third until about a week later.” She looked very confused by the week’s worth of no pictures.

“Where were you before and after that week?” Sam pressed, finally starting to think he just might agree with Dean.

“Well. Before I was in Denver. And then I was in Bailey, from the look of it. I got the job at the diner a couple days later. Now can one of you please tell me what’s going on?” She told them, looking frustrated.

“Give us a minute.” Sam told her, dragging Dean outside with him.

“See?” Dean hissed and Sam noted he looked rather lost.

“I do, Dean. I do. But…I still don’t know. It is weird, really weird. But so many things don’t line up. Cas couldn’t have taken Alice as a vessel without her consent, and how could he have survived being stabbed by Naomi? And why the week with no memory and then suddenly being Alice again? And where was Jimmy’s body?”

“We don’t know that she is Alice again, Sam. We never knew her before, and neither did anyone in Bailey from the sound of it, so no one would’ve suspected her of acting differently.”

“And what about the rest, Dean?”

“I don’t know, but it’s not like it’s the first time Cas has magically survived something he shouldn’t have. He survived being eaten alive from the inside by a bunch of fucking leviathans, damnit. It isn’t much of a stretch to think that maybe he could survive being stabbed by an angel blade to, somehow.”

Sam was quiet for awhile, watching his brother. “Dean, be totally honest with me for a second here. Do you actually, one hundred percent, think that Alice is Cas, or are you just so desperate to not have lost your best friend that you’ll see him in anyone?”

Dean’s mouth dropped and he couldn’t figure out how to answer. Because Sam was right. Dean _was_ desperate for his best friend to be back. He was desperate to argue with the stupid angel over silly little things that didn’t matter. Desperate to chastise him for not understanding personal space despite the fact that he didn’t really care. Desperate to just know he was okay.

“I don’t know.” Dean answered after a minute. “But she is an angel, that much we do know.”

“So let’s figure this out then. We’ll research Alice’s birth, see if there’s anything similar to what we saw with Anna. If there is we’ll know she’s a fallen angel.” Sam said gently, knowing how much Dean was waring with himself right now.

That hope that had all surged up as soon as Dean had finally admitted that he thought Alice might be Cas was now it was flailing as if the life had been sucked out of it. Which, honestly, it had. It almost felt like losing Cas all over again, like not being able to protect him all over again.

“Yeah. We’ll do that.” Dean mumbled, turning to go back into the motel.

Just as he pushed the door open there was a surprised yelp from inside and Dean caught sight of Naomi with an unconscious Alice at her feet.

“Get the fuck away from her.” Dean growled as he and Sam both drew their guns and advanced.

Naomi just smiled serenely, bent down to put her hand to Alice’s shoulder, and both of them vanished.

 

OoOoOoOoO

 

Castiel groaned, slamming his eyes shut against the bright white light that assaulted his throbbing head as soon as he’d made the mistake of opening his eyes. In fact it wasn’t just his head that was throbbing. It was pretty much everything. So Cas kept his eyes shut, trying to will away the pounding and figure out where he was and what was going on.

He remembered the fight in the mine that he’d gone to in hopes of finding another tablet that was rumored to be there. Remembered Naomi finding him in that mine. Remembered desperately wishing that Dean was there to help him fight off Naomi because he was pretty sure he couldn’t do it on his own. Remembered playing cat and mouse with Naomi as he tried to escape both her and the mine, but not having the strength to just vanish. Remembered Naomi finding him and attacking. Remembered Dean suddenly being there, in front of him and holding onto him tightly and saying…something.

“I know you’re awake, Castiel.” Naomi’s voice sounded from just in front of him.

It was enough of a shock to make Castiel rip his eyes open and keep them open despite the pain of all the light bouncing off of the too white room. He realized as he tried to jump from the chair he was in that he couldn’t move, that when he tried pain shot through his body at various points including his head, wrists, and ankles among others.

“You aren’t going anywhere, Castiel. Ever again.” Naomi promised, glaring down at him.

She looked different. Frazzled. Like she was at the end of her rope. Her carefully kept suit was in disarray, singed in a few places and spattered with blood. Before he could think on it anymore she reached forward and twisted one of the metal spikes screwed into his head and everything went blank as a wave of pain rolled over him. Castiel could hear himself scream as he twisted as much as his bindings would allow. The spikes weren’t just in his head, they were through his wrists and ankles and across his chest and stomach as well. Every twitch of movement drove something in deeper, a domino effect of pain.

“You didn’t really think you could escape me, did you? Taking that slut of a vessel and then throwing her at the feet of the Winchesters. I thought you were smarter than that, Castiel.” She twisted another pin, watching Castiel twist and scream with far to much pleasure.

This wasn’t about making him obey anymore, this was about making him suffer. He had made her look like a fool, escaping his vessel at the last possible second to avoid death, throwing her violently back to heaven with the release of power it had caused. It undermined her authority that she had worked so hard to carve out. So she would make him pay, she would torture him to within an inch of death and then leave him at the feet of those who still spoke against her. She would win.

“Did you know, Castiel, that the longer you are in a vessel the more it becomes a part of you? The more time you spend in it the more you can feel its pain, its pleasure. I brought Jimmy back just for you, just for that.” She hissed, shoving down one of the pins in Castiel’s wrist.

Cas screamed, wishing he could just pass out again but knowing it probably wouldn’t happen. Naomi wouldn’t let it happen.

 

OoOoOoOoO

 

“It has to be Cas, damnit. Why the hell else would Naomi take Alice?” Dean nearly shouted.

It had been nearly twenty minutes since Naomi had vanished with Alice and Dean was about as visibly panicked as Sam had ever seen him. As soon as the women had disappeared Sam and Dean had just stood there, no idea what to do. Now Dean was pacing back and forth and waving his gun in anger.

“I agree, Dean, I do.” Sam placated.

“Well then _do something_!” Dean yelled, turning desperate eyes on his brother. Sam was the planner, the one who thought things through and then took action.

“What do you propose we do, Dean? We have no idea where she took him!” Sam shouted back, reaching the end of his rope. Cas was his friend to and he was worried as well.

“He has to be in Heaven. They have to be in Heaven.” Dean shot back. “Where else would Naomi take him?”

“What, so we kill ourselves to get into Heaven again?”

“We found a reaper to take us into Hell, we can find one to take us into Heaven to.” Dean said, his tone clearly saying that Sam wasn’t going to be allowed to argue with this plan.

“And then what, Dean? Remember last time we were in Heaven? How fucking huge and confusing the place was? Unless…” Sam trailed off, a plan forming in his mind.

“Unless what, Sam?”

“Ash. He found us last time, and he said he’d found us the other times we’d been in Heaven as well. The guy’s got the whole place cracked as far as I can tell. If we can get to Heaven, I think he could find us. And he may be able to locate Cas with whatever systems he’s got rigged up.”

Dean almost smiled, glad to have a plan falling into place. It was familiar ground now. They would find a reaper, they would pay him to get into Heaven, Ash would find them, Ash would find Cas, and they’d bust Cas out and bring him home while hopefully killing Naomi in the process.

“Let’s get started.” Dean said, finally having stopped his pacing.

 

OoOoOoOoO

 

“So, let me get this straight,” The man said, staring between the Winchesters. He was a diminutive man who barely making it to Sam’s elbow and had huge but somehow still beady eyes sticking out of his face. “You want me to get you into Heaven? Did you not hear what happened to my brother, the one who let you into hell? Crowley slaughtered him.”

“We’ll pay whatever you want, but we need two tickets in and three out.” Dean growled in frustration. This was the third reaper they’d tried to no avail, each squawking out the same excuse about what had happened to the last guy who helped the brothers.

The man stared warily between them, “I want a promise,” he said eventually. “A promise that you will kill Crowley.”

“You…you want Crowley dead?” Sam asked in confusion.

Dean was confused as well, but he didn’t want to waste time on an explanation. He just wanted to get into Heaven and save Cas. To get him home and safe. Then Dean could sort everything out again. Sort out what had happened between him and Alice, who had actually been Cas…

“It doesn’t matter why. We’re going to kill Crowley anyways so lets just get on with it.” Dean answered before the reaper could respond.

“Alright then.” The reaper said, turning around and waving his hand in indication for the brothers to follow. “Getting into Heaven is much different than Hell. Much simpler, ironically. The problem, though, is where you land once you’re in. But that’s your problem.” He took his cane and tapped an old doorway they had stopped in front of. “As for getting out, find any door and draw this symbol on it, then walk through while thinking hard of the place you’d like to end up. You must do it at the same exact time, or the other one will have to find a separate door.” A piece of paper was shoved into Sam’s hand with a symbol scrawled on it. “Good luck.”

The reaper pushed the door open onto blackness and stepped back. Sam and Dean’s eyes met for a moment, stealing themselves for what they were about to do, before linking arms and stepping through; they couldn’t risk being separated and ending up in two different places.


	8. Chapter 8

“So…now what?” Dean asked, looking around them. He and Sam were standing in a large field, a slightly plump middle aged man was off in the distance flying a kite and paying them no mind.

“We wait, I guess.” Sam answered, looking around as well. He still wasn’t one-hundred percent sure that Ash could find them, or how long it would take.

“At least we don’t have a time limit this time.” Dean sighed, fidgeting impatiently none the less.

“We’ll find him, Dean. I promise.” Sam assured, resting a hand on his brother’s shoulder. Both of them knew it was a promise Sam really couldn’t make, that there was a good chance they would not in fact find Cas, but they held out hope and clung to the promise anyways.

“I swear if you two don’t have a damn good explanation for what you’re doing here I will wring your necks.” A familiar, feminine, voice said from behind them. Before either one could react they were yanked backwards by the collars of their shirts and through a doorway that hadn’t been there before, stumbling back into the familiar bar room of the roadhouse.

“Sam!? Dean?! What the hell are you idjits doing here?” Bobby practically shouted from his seat at one of the tables, obviously not happy to see them in Heaven without knowing why.

Jo was giving them a similar look to Bobby’s which clearly stated that she wanted to cause them physical harm for their stupidity.

“Let’s start off with this: we’re not dead.” Dean said, straightening his jacket a bit after Jo had used it as a hand-hold.

“Well then how are you here?” Jo’s eyes narrowed, obviously still not convinced she shouldn’t strangle them.

“We paid off a reaper,” Sam told them, taking a breath to say more before he was interrupted by Ash and Ellen appearing from the back room.

“Well! Look who’s back.” Ash grinned, now the only one in the room who actually looked like he didn’t mind them being there as Ellen had taken on a murderous look of her own.

“And I’m sure we’d all love an explanation as to why.” Ellen said quietly, looking between Sam and Dean, “and it better be damn good.”

“Cas is in trouble.” Sam said, sensing that if Dean tried to explain he’d get fed up and just walk out the door in hopes of randomly stumbling upon the missing angel. “It’s a really long story, but this angel named Naomi has him. She’s been torturing him for a long time but Dean and I didn’t figure it out until way to late and a lot of shit happened and we sort of got Cas back for awhile but now Naomi’s got him again and the only thing that makes sense is for them to be in Heaven so here we are.”

“So how exactly do you intend to find Castiel? Or did you once again not plan that far ahead?” Bobby glared weakly, obviously still angry to see Sam and Dean taking such a risk but understanding why they’d done it as well. The trenchcoated angel had become like another son to Bobby, just as Sam and Dean had, and the idea of him being tortured hurt.

“We were hoping you could do that, Ash. We actually kind of expected you to be the one to find us and bring us to the roadhouse to.” Sam explained, glancing at Jo.

“He showed me what to look for on the machines.” Jo shrugged. “I saw that you two had shown up and where you were so I grabbed you before anyone else could get to you. Heaven isn’t exactly safe, let alone for you two.”

“And the roadhouse is?” Dean asked, looking around at the rickety wooden building.

“Interestingly enough, angel warding works in Heaven just as well as on Earth.” Bobby explained.

“Yes, interesting indeed. I’d also like to say that I’m flattered you’d leave so much of your plan hinging on me.” Ash grinned, already clacking away at a row of computers.

“So you can do it, you can find Cas?” Dean asked, the desperation clear in his voice.

“I should be able to. And if I can’t get him I can try some of the other angels that trail around after Naomi. Or Naomi. I can try her to.” Ash mumbled, focused heavily on what he was doing.

“You know about Naomi?” Sam asked, looking between the other three.

“Oh yeah, we know her. Think we just gave up fightin’ and huntin’ when we died, did ya?” Bobby asked, a familiar glint in his eye as he took a swig of the beer Ellen had offered him. “Bitch has been waging war all over Heaven, she’s hard not to notice.”

Sam and Dean couldn’t help but grin a little, it was good to see Bobby again. Good to see him acting like his old self. In fact it was good to see everyone. Good to know they were okay, they were surviving and seemingly doing okay despite the multi-dimensional war raging around them.

“Given the little vein I see popping in Ash’s forehead, I’m guessing this is going to take awhile.” Jo spoke I up, “I’m voting for a round of beer and a better explanation of what the hell is going on from Sam and Dean while we wait.”

“That is a wonderful plan.” Ellen answered, pulling out more beers and setting them on the bar and shooting Sam and Dean the “If you don’t listen I will make you listen” look.

Sam took the offered seat and beer but wasn’t surprised when Dean just turned away and started pacing and glancing out the windows. Nothing would calm his brother right now, Sam was sure of that. When Ellen started to protest Sam just raised his hand slightly, giving her a pleading look not to press the issue.

“Is he okay?” Ellen asked softly, “I mean, I know he’s close to Castiel, but…”

“Saying he’s close doesn’t really cut it anymore, I think.” Sam answered her, then launched into an explanation of what exactly had happened over the past few weeks. He left out exactly how close Dean and Alice had gotten though, not wanting any questions forced onto Dean that Dean didn’t want to answer. That Dean might not be able to answer.

Dean was half listening from across the room, picking up more the general tone of the conversation than the actual words. He was so lost in his head he almost didn’t notice Jo walk up next to him until the floor squeaked under her feet.

“The heavenly version of the roadhouse and the floor still squeaks. That’s kind of sad.” Dean observed, staring out the window.

“Home is home.” Jo answered, staring quietly with him. “You fell for her, didn’t you? Alice.”

Dean stiffened, jaw clenching as he refused to answer.

“And now you’re worried about what will happen when you find Cas. If he doesn’t remember then you have to live with it for the rest of your life, dance around it every time you see him. If he does remember then you’re afraid it will destroy your friendship and you’ll lose the best friend you’ve ever had. Am I close?” Jo took Dean’s response of curling in on himself and clenching his eyes shut as a yes and continued on. “Look, Dean. Life sucks. Hell sucks. Purgatory sucks. Heaven sucks. There’s really nowhere anymore that doesn’t suck, as far as we know. So we’ve gotta deal with what we’ve got. We’ve gotta be happy with what we’ve got. And, honestly, I think you’d be happy with Cas. Whatever happens, I think you should go for it.”

“He’s an angel.” Dean muttered, eyes still shut as he leaned his forehead against the glass.

“And you’re obviously attracted to him. And I mean to _him_. You’ve fallen in love with him in two different bodies now. If that’s not loving someone for who they really are then I don’t know what is.”

“Who said I was ever in love with him before he was in Alice?” Dean argued weakly.

Jo shrugged,“you wouldn’t be so distraught over all of this if you weren’t.”

“Got him!” Ash shouted triumphantly, breaking into Jo and Dean’s conversation with a triumphant whoop.

“Where is he?” Dean demanded, striding back over to the bar and staring at Ash’s screens even though he had no idea what any of it meant.

“Well, it’s rather hard to say _where_. But I can get you there.” Ash promised, scribbling something onto a piece of paper.

“Let’s get going then.” Jo said, grabbing a gun and an angel blade from under the bar. Dean eyed it for a moment, wondering how she’d got it but deciding it was a topic that could be saved for another time.

Ellen and Bobby moved to do the same before Sam spoke up,“Oh no. We’re doing this on our own. We can’t risk anything happening to you guys.”

“Now listen here you two,” Bobby said, pointing an accusing finger, “You two are my sons. And Castiel is to. I’m not going to just sit here while you run off into the unknown to rescue him from being tortured. Ellen, Jo, and I know how to handle ourselves around here much better then you do. This isn’t our first sparring match with a bunch of pissy heaven brats while on their own territory.”

Sam and Dean just blinked, mouths hanging slightly. Bobby had never outright called them his sons. Sure, they both loved Bobby like he was their father and considered him as such, but to hear it said so easily out loud caught them off guard. Especially when Cas was included in their strange family unit.

“You heard him boys.” Ellen said, finally grabbing her own weapons. “You guys just worry about Castiel and getting him out of there. We’ll take care of the rest.”

The Winchesters nodded mutely, knowing not to argue now.

“Time to go.” Ash said as he finished drawing an elaborate symbol on one of the doors. “Be careful.”


	9. Chapter 9

The rag-tag family stepped through the door, hearing it click shut behind them as they surveyed the room they had come out in. It was stark white office with opaque glass that may have been windows but seemed to have nothing outside of them. One wall was clear glass that lead out to a hallway. They gently pushed the door to the glass wall open and walked down the hall with Sam and Dean in the lead. Every one of them was silent, using all their senses to the max to detect any potential threat or sign of Castiel.

“Do you think the walls have hidden doors we aren’t seeing?” Jo said softly as they walked along the seemingly blank hall.

“I haven’t felt any drafts,” Sam answered, “But maybe.”

Before they could actually try to find a hidden door an inhuman scream echoed down the hallway and Dean took off, following the sound as it repeated. Everyone else was close behind, trying to keep up with Dean to watch his and each other’s backs.

When Dean finally found the room the screams were emanating from he skidded to a halt, blanching at what he saw. Castiel was obviously back in Jimmy’s body and he was strapped to a chair much the same as the one that they had found Samandriel in when Crowley had tortured him what seemed like centuries ago. Naomi was bent over him, a look of twisted glee stretching her features into grotesque shapes as she twisted another pin and Castiel screamed, his voice cutting off in a sob.

Naomi didn’t even seem to notice that anyone else was there until Dean charged her and tackled her away from Castiel who was still choking on sobs of pain. She screeched and clawed out at Dean as he swung his fist down into her face.

Before he could land a second blow he was yanked back hard by Sam,“Get Cas. We’ll handle her.” The younger Winchester ordered, putting himself between Dean and Cas, and Naomi along with Ellen and Bobby.

Jo was already making for the chair Cas was in and carefully working out how to extract him. Dean joined her without a second thought and delicately started pulling the pins out of Castiel’s head first, wincing as he whimpered in pain.

“I’m sorry, Cas. I’m so sorry. It’s going to be okay. Just hang in there and we’ll get you out of here and somewhere safe and fix you up, I promise.” Dean chanted as he and Jo worked as quickly as they could to remove all the pins and unlock the cuffs as well.

Behind them Ellen, Sam, and Bobby were fighting Naomi with all they had. And right now they had enough to give them the upper hand. Naomi was crumbling and unable to take on three people at once when she had clearly been weakened by recent events. She screeched like a trapped animal and lashed out with everything she had, which really wasn’t much compared to what Sam had seen from previous angels.

“Dean.” Cas groaned, eyes finally focusing out of their spinning pain-induced movements to settle shakily on Dean’s face as Jo extracted the last pin and tossed it to the floor.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m here. You’re gonna be alright, just hang in there a little longer, okay?” Dean said, trying to figure out the best way to move Cas without hurting him more.

“You’re gonna hurt him no matter what you do, Dean. You’ve just gotta do it and go.” Jo said, eyes darting between the bleeding angel and the fight raging near by.

Dean gritted his teeth and nodded, “I’m sorry Cas.”

“I know.” Cas mumbled weakly, causing Dean to pause and stare at him for a moment.

Cas stared back, not breaking eye contact as Dean took a deep breath and hauled Cas to his feet, leaning all of the angel’s weight on his own body when Castiel sagged against him.

“Hang in there, hang in there.” Dean told him, tossing one of Cas’s arms over his own shoulders and holding onto him tightly.

“Sam!” Jo shouted, moving away from Dean to join the fight. “Get out of here. We’ll handle the rest. Go!”

Sam spared one glance at everyone and backed out of the fight and over to Dean. It was hard, leaving Ellen, Bobby, and Jo in the middle of a fight. But Sam and Dean trusted that they knew what they were doing. They knew they could handle themselves, and that it would be insulting to act like they couldn’t.

Sam came over and slung Castiel’s other arm up over his shoulders, suspending the barely conscious angel between him and his brother as they made for the nearest door where he carefully drew the symbol the reaper had given them using blood from a cut on his hand. As soon as he was sure it was right he looked to Dean, both of them gripping Castiel tightly as they stepped through, thinking hard of the Bat Cave.

 

 

OoOoOoOoO

 

The sensation of jumping out of Heaven was much the same as when Castiel used his grace to transport them around the country. A quick sensation of spinning and then suddenly having the ground just solidify again, throwing you off balance as your body attempted to keep spinning while your feet stayed still on the solid ground. Dean and Sam managed to stay upright, despite Cas still suspended between them and throwing off their balance as they landed in the familiar main room of home.

“Get angel warding up, now.” Dean ordered.

Sam did as told without question, leaving Dean to take care of Cas who seemed to have finally lost consciousness. Dean carefully laid him down on the couch, the same couch he had been lying on two months ago when Castiel had clawed his way into Dean’s semi-dreaming state to cry out for help. Help Dean hadn’t been able to give.

“Come on, Cas. You can’t quit on me now.” Dean begged, gently stroking his cheek in an fruitless attempt to rouse him.

After a few more attempts Dean gave up and pulled out a knife to cut away Castiel’s torn and blood stained clothes so he could see the full extent of his injuries. They were bad, all of them still leaking blood and little rays of what Dean figured was grace.

“How the hell do you treat an angel?” Dean muttered, staring at the wounds and trying to figure out what to do.

“Try cleaning the wounds with Holy Water?” Sam suggested as he came back and started drawing the final symbol to keep angels out. They would keep Cas in as well, but it was their only choice right now.

“Right.” Dean responded, going into the kitchen and grabbing a jug of it and the first aid kit before going back to his friend.

Dean started with the wounds on Castiel’s head, carefully cleaning them and practically choking with relief as the wounds started to heal themselves as Holy Water was dribbled over them. In about two hours Dean had cleaned all the wounds and was carefully dabbing more water over the ones that were still healing. Castiel had mumbled a few things, all in Enochian, throughout the affair but he never seemed to regain consciousness. When the last wound was healed completely he gave a contented sigh, his whole body relaxing though his eyes remained closed.

“You should take him to a room, Dean. He’ll be more comfortable on a dry, warm bed.” Sam said from the table where he had been watching everything.

Dean just nodded, bending down to gently scoop Castiel into his arms, tucking the angel’s head under his own and making for the bedrooms. After a moment’s hesitation he took Castiel into his own. He didn’t have the energy to find fresh bedding for another room. This was easier.

Carefully he set Castiel down on the bed, draping the covers around him before sitting on the edge and just staring at him. Dean felt exhausted, more then he had in a long time. His body ached and his head throbbed. But he wasn’t willing to sleep. No, he had to be there and awake when Cas woke up. He had to.

 

OoOoOoOoO

 

The first thing Castiel was aware of was that he was pleasantly warm. The second was that he was no longer in pain. For awhile he just went with it, enjoying the easy respite after so much agony. When he finally opened his eyes he was rather confused by what he saw: what appeared to be a bedroom with no windows and weapons adorning the walls. But the confusion vanished as soon as he turned his head to see Dean with his head pillowed on his arms, sitting on the floor and leaning on the edge of the bed as he snored softly.

“That hardly looks comfortable.” Castiel said after a moment, having decided that he really wanted Dean to be awake so he could talk to him.

The hunter jumped slightly, blinking the sleep out of his eyes, “Cas! You’re awake. How are you feeling?”

“Hmmm…” Castiel shifted around, flexing his joints as he tried to figure out an answer. “Lethargic. But not in pain.”

“Good.” Dean visibly relaxed.

“Yes. I expected to feel much worse.” The angel said, carefully sliding up to lean against the headboard as Dean stood up with a wince at the stiffness of his muscles. He’d obviously been asleep a long time.

“I’m glad you’re okay.” Dean said lamely after a moment of silence.

“Only because you came to get me. Twice.” Castiel informed him, frowning as Dean winced. “What?”

“I didn’t exactly get you the first time, Cas… Naomi stabbed you. I honestly thought you’d died until we met…” Dean came up short before saying Alice’s name. He didn’t manage to stop before the memories of his night with Alice surged up though.

“True. But you came. I’m not even sure how you knew where I was, but you came. I don’t think I would’ve had the strength for that last attempt to escape Naomi if you hadn’t.”

“What do you mean?” Dean asked, his confusion obvious.

“I mean that when I saw you there, when you grabbed me and tried to help me as best you could… no one has been there like that for me, Dean. No one. In that moment I wanted to survive more than anything else in the world. I wanted to survive to see you again, even though that didn’t really make sense at the time. So I did the only thing I could think of and abandoned my vessel. But it wasn’t without cost, not with how injured I was, especially after Naomi stabbed me. I didn’t think I succeeded, honestly. Everything just went black. The next thing I remember is waking up in a camper in a new vessel.”

“Alice.” Dean supplied, almost choking on her name. He was honestly terrified of what would come now.

“Yes.” Castiel said, watching Dean closely. “I remember all of it. I wasn’t in control though, I was just watching everything. I could make my presence felt, and I could tell my desires were leaking into her at times, but I had no actual control.”

“Oh.” Dean mumbled weakly, already preparing to lock away everything he felt for Castiel that was more than friendship.

“But,” Castiel continued, “I wouldn’t have stopped anything that happened.”

“You…what?” Dean blinked in confusion.

Cas smiled slightly, “You look, how would you say it? Like a deer caught in the headlights of an on-coming vehicle.”

Dean ignored the angel’s attempt at humor, still to shocked by what he’d said to care about it. His head was reeling. Cas knew what had happened, knew all of it, and didn’t regret anything? He didn’t regret kissing Dean? Or sleeping with him?

“You really wouldn’t have?” Dean asked, his thoughts still spinning.

“No. I care about you Dean. As more than a friend.” The angel said in his familiar, blunt tone. “I have for awhile, I think, but as you are well aware I am rather terrible at recognizing human emotion, let alone acting on it. And ever since I was pulled out of purgatory, well,” Castiel grimaced, leaving the sentence unfinished. “I’ve let the rules of Heaven rule me for far to long, I think. I still believe in many of them, but I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting and clawing and suffering through everything alone. I think having Alice as a vessel made that clearer. Watching from that perspective, it made many things clearer for me, the things I was feeling.

“And I know you’re tired to, Dean. I know you hate yourself because you don’t think you’re good enough, because you think that you’re going to fail and people will get hurt or die. I know that you blame yourself for far to many deaths already. I know you still have nightmares of being in hell, of Sam being in hell, of purgatory. I know you don’t remember the last time you slept for more than a couple hours straight because of those nightmares.” Cas took a breath, ready to continue on along some other vein of explaining himself, but Dean stopped him when he sat down heavily on the bed and pulled him into a tight hug, burying his face in Cas’s hair.

Castiel hesitated only a fraction of a second before curling into the warmth, resting against Dean. Damn Heaven. Damn Hell. He’d fought long enough and hard enough and lost so much. He was finally going to have something he wanted. They both were.


	10. Chapter 10

_Two Weeks Later_

 

“I just wish we had a way to know what had happened after we left.” Sam sighed as he half-heartedly cooked himself some scrabbled eggs.

“Well, if it brings you any comfort, Ellen, Bobby, and Jo would’ve made it out alive no matter what. Souls can’t die in Heaven, generally. They just sort of vanish for awhile and then come back. No one really understands it.” Castiel offered from where he was lying on the couch, his feet on Dean’s lap.

“Really?” Dean replied.

“Yes. Souls are incredibly hard to destroy, after all. I have no idea about what may have happened to Naomi however.”

“She would’ve come after us if she was alive, wouldn’t she?” Sam answered, coming over and sitting down in one of the arm-chairs with his eggs that he just poked at.

“Yes, but you saw how weak she had become. I’m not entirely sure why she had become so weak either. I know what I did in the mine was part of it, but there has to be more.” Castiel reasoned.

“Well it’s been two weeks. I think it’s time we risk it and make a run for where you hid the angel tablet to get it back here safe.” Dean suggested.

It had been decided a couple days after they had made it back and Castiel had woken up that they needed to get the angel tablet. Castiel wasn’t sure it was safe anymore now that Naomi had tortured him again for nearly a day. He wasn’t sure if he’d accidentally given anything up during that torture, so getting the tablet back had become a priority. But between Castiel still being to weak to stand for more than a few moments and the risk of Naomi showing up at any moment it had been decided that they needed to wait and bide their time. They had carefully monitored the area where the tablet was hidden, ready to move in if they really had to, but that was all.

But it had been two weeks without any sign of Naomi and Cas has finally recovered enough that he could at least manage in a fight if one should occur. So it was time to move.

“Right. We’ll leave in an hour? You should stock the Impala, Dean.” Sam answered. The Impala, which had been left in the small Colorado town where they’d met up with the reaper, had been retrieved by Sam a week earlier.

“I’ll help.” Castiel offered to Dean, earning a nod as they both stood and walked to the car.

They walked in comfortable silence, arms brushing occasionally with their proximity. When Dean flipped on the lights Castiel frowned, seeing the large dents in the front of Dean’s treasured vehicle.

“What happened?” The angel asked, turning to Dean with a frown still on his face.

Dean shrugged, “The gate to the mine was locked and we didn’t have time to try and figure out how to open it. I’ll fix her once we get the tablet back.”

“Oh.” Castiel answered, turning back to look at the car.

He stared for a moment before reaching forward and resting a hand on the hood, closing his eyes and exhaling softly. The dented metal twisted and groaned, popping back into place as a soft hiss emanated from the the paint and the chrome as it reappeared and re-polished. Dean just stared, watching his car be put back together under Castiel’s hands and having the strange thought that he wanted to actually teach Cas how to fix cars the human way. Preferably with his shirt off.

“I know you could’ve fixed her, but…” Castiel shrugged, “It was sort of my fault after all.”

“Thanks, Cas.” Dean answered, moving to carefully wrap an arm around him.

Ever since Castiel had woken up they’d sort of been awkwardly struggling through what their new relationship was. They liked the change, it felt right to both of them, they just had no idea how to actually work with it. But slowly they’d started to settle into a good rhythm. They weren’t overly affectionate, happy to just be in each other’s presence rather then constantly hugging and touching and cuddling. They would rest against each other on the couch, sit with their legs touching at the table, kiss each other goodnight softly.

Castiel laid with Dean in his bed while Dean slept as well. That one hadn’t happened straight off, but a few days after Castiel had woken up. He’d been reading in the main room when he felt the need to go check on Dean, only to find him tossing and turning from a nightmare. After that the angel had gone to bed with the hunter every night because Dean had told him he slept better with Cas there.

“You know, we have yet to have a real kiss.” Castiel said after a moment, grinning slightly at the shocked look that flitted across Dean’s face. He liked that he could still catch the hunter off guard. “I feel as though we should fix that.”

“Well since you asked.” Dean grinned, turning towards Castiel and meeting the angel in the middle for a kiss much more passionate than the quick ones they had shared before.

Castiel tilted his head slightly, one hand resting on Dean’s side as his fingers teased up under the fabric, the other resting on the back of Dean’s head to pull him closer. Dean reciprocated the affection, one arm wrapping protectively around Castiel’s waist and the other skimming along his chest.

For several minutes they just leaned on one another, Cas’s legs resting against the side of the Impala and letting it take some of his weight, kissing and holding one another. The kisses trailed along jaws and down necks and back up to mouths, occasional soft moans of pleasure stirring the air around them.

“Wonderful job stocking the car, you two.” Sam laughed from the door to the garage.

“You couldn’t have given us five more minutes, Sam? Seriously?” Dean groaned, still holding onto a slightly annoyed looking Castiel.

“How was I supposed to know you’d be so busy?” The younger Winchester asked, coming in and popping the trunk to stock it himself.

“Perhaps because we’re a couple that doesn’t get much time alone?” Castiel offered pointedly.

“That’s what socks on the door are for.” Sam answered, stacking cases of salt shells.

“Socks?” Castiel looked confused at the statement in general, even more so when he saw Dean trying to choke back laughter. “I don’t think I understand.”

“You’ll figure it out.” Dean winked, giving the angel one last kiss before stepping back and moving to help his brother.

“Humans have such strange sayings and practices.” Castiel muttered, watching the Winchesters worked. He couldn’t say he minded learning them though. Especially after that glimmer in Dean’s eyes that seemed to promise the explanation of this particular idiom would be fun to explore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and be sure to keep an eye out for the sequel, "Burn" which should start posting shortly!


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